Author Topic: Yesterday I blew my top  (Read 1550 times)

NeuralgicNeurotic

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2017, 07:02:30 AM »
 >bighugs<

huhn

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2017, 07:17:48 AM »
rose, I know how  this is feeling. I have the same here. I sit out in my garden and all people are passing and not one is greeting. and I life here 16 years  nobody knows me, some are even asking  who I am. where it in a town I were understanding it but in a village is it not understandable. I have more contacts in the  town , where  I am ones a week. I have the  feeling people are not more so social, and when you are not  use  for them then  you are not existent for them.

Rosie

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #32 on: July 15, 2017, 08:35:17 AM »
I am an English speaker therefore I am American therefore I am RICH.  But I am from England. I am not from America.  I get NO help from England and I only have my Israeli  disability pension/allowances which I PAID FOR WHEN I WAS WORKING.

And I still have to pay monthly Health Fund charge same as a working woman.  No free prescription meds although I am 75 years old.  All I get is a free flu shot but only if I get to the clinic at the crack of dawn.

Oh, and a free breast check IF I can get to the hospital.  As if. 

I do not think I have ever moaned about any of this.  I live where I want to live and this is where I want to stay.

Ah, but I have a computer therefore I am RICH.

But the shower in the bungalow  blocked up years ago and my landlords would not fix it because I had an ensute built so why the feck do they want io fix things when they get idiot me to do it?

Windows exploded - I do not mean Windows computers I mean windows in the house.  Thin glass just blew in everywhere.  Do not renmenber why,  No problen Juli -my real  name - will get hew windows put in.  The old smashed windows are still outside next door.

Oh but I have a computer therefore I am rich.  So I must be American.  How?  I was born in Bushey Maternity Hospital.  Stanmore, Watford, Hertforshire ENGLAND  at 7.20am on  Friday 13 March 1942.  Multiple births are ALWAYS listed at time of birmth.  I am a twin therefore I know what time I was delivered.

I can not go out and I do not want to live any more.

I just want to sleep and never wake up.   With Tikva cuddled up beside me.
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Rosie

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #33 on: July 15, 2017, 01:04:01 PM »
And how nice of the man who said yesterday he would bring me in some food today.

NOTHING. 

But hey ho, who cares.

I cannot even sit outside because of the heat.  Heatwave?  I have all air conditioners on indoors and I still am having major breathing problems.  I am choking here breathing in scalding hot air, and cannot even get a private doctor because the bdooly gates are closed and even an ambulance cannot get in.
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Rosie

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #34 on: July 15, 2017, 01:05:16 PM »
And little Tikva is having problems breathing.
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huhn

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #35 on: July 15, 2017, 03:08:21 PM »
Rosi it is  too humid , what makes it very hot. good news the weather forecast says, it is getting cooler next week.
and I say always, do not rely on anyone, you can not trust anybody to do something for you. the last 15 years I had nobody who was  a great help and reliable. I do not know what happened the last years that I am ending up in such a mess.

SunshineMeadows

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #36 on: July 15, 2017, 04:22:30 PM »
A day can feel like forever especially when it is so hot and humid. Try to remember how resilient you can be  >bighugs<


NeuralgicNeurotic

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #37 on: July 15, 2017, 08:07:00 PM »
Wishing you cool breezes and a restful night, Rosie.  >bighugs<

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #38 on: July 15, 2017, 11:20:02 PM »
Rosie - I'm sorry I forgot your neighbours were Tunisians not Russians.  I don't know why I thought Russians except I just had a sense that your neighbours were from what I'll call a different batch of returnees from the diaspora. 

It hurts me to read what you write.  I hope that doesn't sound like a complaint, because it isn't, I'm glad you feel you can say here how you feel.  But you've been through so much.  You have coped with so much.  Take something where you may not realise something you said had an enormous impact on how I felt for you - you mentioned a rocket attack on what, if I understood correctly, was a building along the lines of a shopping mall with a health clinic which I picture, perhaps wrongly, as being upstairs.  As you know, when it comes to the Israeli/Palestinian thing, I'm not in agreement with your government over how it's handling it, but I felt so much for you, how terribly frightened you must be, how awful to be in the midst of this situation, and then on top to find it's messy politically which complicates how people feel, so you aren't sure people will sympathise with you.  Ever since, there have been so many occasions when there's been something you've said that has tangentially reminded me that you've been through so much, coped with so much.

And I feel your sense of loneliness, exhaustion, fear, neediness.  What the hell are you doing so far away from me that I can't wrap my arms around you?  Lovely, lovely Rosie, whose usual approach to things is such that some of what you've described yourself doing on this thread, the anger, the shouting etc. is so unlike the Rosie I've come to know that I know you're struggling terribly. 

I can't do anything except to let you know that I feel for you, to know that when you say you want people to care and to help, you're not being unreasonable.  When I say to let people know you need help, I don't mean that you should need to - you shouldn't need to - just that some people need a prompt or even a kick up the backside.  Please give them one.  Wouldn't you be doing them a religious favour if you gave them an opportunity to do some good/kind things for you, to clock up a few more mitzvot?  Or if not religious, just a nice warm feeling for them when they do something kind.

C'mon, you can't say you wouldn't say the same to me.

Dear, dear Rosie, treat them like me - the sort of people that like to help but need prompting and prodding to work out what and how.

 >bighugs<

Rosie

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2017, 04:20:16 AM »
No Sunny - Tunisians who were used as slave labourers  in WWII and then  thrown out.  Not Moan - Tunisians from Djerba.  Jews used as slave labourers.  I know - I know the whole  story.  I had to translate the English letters for the slave labourers.

The Russians?  Feck them.  Most are not even Jews and have no right to be here.  And most Israelis hate them.   And after 32 years of whatever, I am Israeli  wherever I was born.

How do I explain this?  I know but cannot explain it.  Well I can but you would not understand because it is too complicated. 

You  know me Sunny.  From the old BBC Ouch board.   And when I was banned from the old  BBC Archers board board because someone followed me onto Ouch when she had no reason, and then the Jewish board when I was in the middle of a war?  Forget her name but oh did they give me sh!t.   I was hated because I am a Jew and I live in Israel and I was hated on the BBC Ouch and BBC Archers boards because I am a Jew and a dirty Israeli.

Be honest with me.  Sod my government - I do not agree with them.

But me?  Who cares about me? 
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NeuralgicNeurotic

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2017, 05:52:26 AM »
 >bighugs<

ally

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2017, 07:45:29 AM »
 >bighugs< I hope things improve for you, I really do.  Take care, and, wishing you, and, little Tikva well X

huhn

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2017, 09:09:49 AM »
sorry Rosie, my weather report got it wrong, today it is hotter then the last days, I run around with dripping sweat. as I live 600 meter high in the mountains I have no ac only a fan. normally its ok with a little wind up here, but not in the moment.

they say Monday cooler but then again extra hot. so stay in the cool. I miss here the old fashioned Persian wind towers, that is really something amazing. you sit like under a  proper ac. where something  for your back yard. so have a nice quite day. >hugs< >hugs< >hugs< >hugs< >hugs< >hugs< >hugs<

KizzyKazaer

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2017, 12:37:08 PM »
Rosie, I didn't realise you too had the dubious honour of being banned from a Beeb message board or two!  Surely you were allowed back eventually though ...

Quote
I was hated on the BBC Ouch and BBC Archers boards because I am a Jew and a dirty Israeli.

Hmmm, that wasn't how I recall it when I was a BBC Ouch poster and an Archers lurker... people seemed to care very much about you and offer you a lot of support.  Of course there is the odd one who you're not going to get along with, but that's equally true offline as well as on!  You say who cares about you, well a lot of folk here on OuchToo do... I don't think most reasonable people form an opinion on you based only on your religion and/or nationality.  But you're obviously very tired, very hot and feeling very vulnerable right now so these things have a tendency to magnify.  When you're well-rested and cooler, this won't seem so important.  It really won't.

>bighugs< I hope things improve for you, I really do.  Take care, and, wishing you, and, little Tikva well X 

This ^^^

Rosie

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Re: Yesterday I blew my top
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2017, 03:27:11 PM »
No Kizzy I was not banned from BBC Ouch.  Someone from the Archers board decided to post on BBC Ouch AND on the Jewish board.  And I do not know why.

Whoever it was, and there were actually two of them, were not disabled and nor were they Jewish.  So why post on BBC Ouch or BBC Jewish board?

Why post on BBC Ouch for no reason?  Why post on the BBC Jewish board?  I do not know why. 

I was banned from The Archers board because I told whoever it was to drop dead.  I admitted it and I admit it now.  I am fairly sure I said "Drop dead you fecking bitch."

I was never banned from any BBC board and I had been a member since 14 January  1904 I think - long time me ago I forget now.

Have I ever pretended I am not a Jew?  Have I ever pretended I do not live in Israel? 

Who cares.  Who knows who I am or what my name is.

I just know I need to sleep
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