Author Topic: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.  (Read 595 times)

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« on: November 07, 2017, 08:17:26 PM »
Today my life was turned upside down (again) by the DWP.

I got a letter and I knew before I opened it that it was an review form,  took me two hours to build up the courage to open it but yes it is.   I am in a really bad way, this has already caused me immense stress, I've not been able to eat at all today and I was physically sick 10 mins after I opened it.

I am in the support group (obviously not for much longer) and although I've been worried about this arriving for the past 4-5 months, it could not have arrived at a worse time.   Xmas is my ONLY highlight of the year, the only time I really love and this year it was killed stone dead for me today by this.

Since its like 6+ weeks away, no doubt that is just enough time for them to get my form, stamp it "no way son!", send me for ANOTHER embarrassing and degrading medical and then stop my money 100% like they did last time.  ..just in time for xmas..   

I have been through this twice already and took it to tribunal both times and I was lucky to win both and the last time they upgraded me to the support group.

However.   I passed because of clause 35 and I have read sometime earlier this year that the DWP have removed that now or at least made it almost impossible to use by the tribunal.   

So I know now, before it all kicks off that I am destined to fail, so I guess there is no point me even going to tribunal for a 3rd time.

I cannot put into words how distressed and upset I am, I've cried buckets today and I feel so so low and utterly depressed.

I honestly don't know how I'll manage over the next month or so while this goes on, knowing I'm pretty much 'stuffed' before we even start is even more of a blow and worrying.

I don't know what to do,  my world has been literally turned upside down and I feel so very afraid and worried now.

 >crying< >crying< >crying< >crying< >crying<
Member of POMMAS

Sunny Clouds

  • Charter Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4167
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2017, 09:07:10 PM »
Ok, let's start with the essential:

 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<
 >chocolate< >chocolate<

Ok, let's now look at the next step.

Yes, reviews are ghastly.   We all know here how horrible these things are.  That means you're not alone.  We're the other side of the screen, but we're real, and we're with you.

So what you need to think about is what does using 35 do that you could do anyway  by making sure you can tick other boxes?  The reality is, based on what you post here and what the tribunal decided last time, that you are supposed to be in the support group.

So download the criteria into a word-processing document you can start working on, i.e. that  you can type into and mess about with.  Then work through it.  And here's the really, really horrible bit - address the reality of how bad things are for you.  It's soul destroying but it's real.  If you've got problems doing things, you've got problems doing them.   Now is not the time for putting a brave face on it.

Others will be along with better advice, doubtless, but for now, it's going to be ok.  If you get your timing right, you can get the form in before Christmas, then get the results after, and have Christmas in between.  And I don't underestimate how big a thing Christmas is - I've just had a letter from the DWP telling me they've got all the info they need to make a decision on my PIP, so I may be appealing for Christmas.  But we'll get through it, won't we?

And if you can't sleep tonight, lie awake and daydream of May's government collapsing under more and more scandals.  Please, please let there be some really, really icky DWP scandal.   >devil<

auntieCtheM

  • Charter Member
  • Super Hero Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 5506
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2017, 09:20:56 PM »
Hey Steve, you have won twice before so you can win again.  2 you, 0 to the DWP.   >hugs<

Monic1511

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2057
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2017, 10:15:36 PM »
Steve
STOP RIGHT NOW - Regulation 35 has not been abolished so stop that
As the others have said you need to look at the criteria and answer each individual question.
I can't recall all the things you have but look at the support group criteria and use the words in your form.

I'll look later on but please calm a little

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2017, 10:21:58 PM »
Thank you all, yes I'm trying to calm down.  going to try and sleep now.   thanks again, love you all.
Member of POMMAS

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #5 on: November 08, 2017, 12:31:39 PM »
I've been looking through the criteria and it's just so over my head, I don't understand half I'm reading and I'm not very good at wording things at the best of times.  I'm going to take a couple of days to "try" and calm down, I'm still very upset and feel sick in my stomach so I really can't cope with wading through this right now. 

it doesn't have to be in until the last week in Nov, so I can take my time, but from my reckoning last night if it goes like usual, I'll send that in and 1 week later be sent for a joke of a medical and then 1-2 weeks later I'll get a letter stating my money is stopped and "get a job scrounger!".   Which I am guessing will be around 22nd of Dec   ..Happy Xmas from the DWP!

Monic, feel free to say no, I won't be offended as I know how busy you are, but would it be possible for you to help me fill this out better? (I mean when I write it, I could show you what I put?)

I told my mum last night, fully expecting her to be upset and as worried as I am, but she took it in her stride, she thinks as I've won twice, I'll do it again.  But I know the posts are forever moving so I feel the opposite.
Member of POMMAS

SunshineMeadows

  • Administrator
  • Super Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7518
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #6 on: November 08, 2017, 03:40:58 PM »
Steve,

I know how no matter how much I prepare for it having to fill in renewal forms stresses me out so I understand why you are so upset. We all need to remember how many people have posted on Ouch Too about getting put into the Support Group (again) or getting better PIP rates than they expected. I know every claim is individual but it does seem like those of us who got through the processing made from 2009 -2013 are being judged less harshly now - touch wood  >treehug<.

Do you have a copy of what you put in your old ESA50 and the tribunal outcome? It would probably be a good idea to have a look at them and use them when filling in the new form.

 >bighugs<

Monic1511

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2057
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2017, 07:44:25 PM »
Hi Steve
to know how to word the answers I will need to know your conditions.  If you can send that in a PM - I will try and draft some answers for you and you can tweak them to suit.   I normally start with a copy of the descriptors - delete the ones that do not apply to the person and then give answers to the rest.

 >hugs<
Monic

neurochick

  • Diamond member
  • ****
  • Posts: 255
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2017, 08:14:23 PM »
Steve - start by getting out the photocopies of the 2 previous ESA50 forms that you completed and copies of all of the papers/reports/medical evidence you've gotten to support your claims or gotten from from the DWP in connection with your tribunals. Use those as your starting point for filling in the new ESA50 so that the whole task of answering the questions is made easier, less effort and less overwhelming. Monic has kindly said she will help you so you are not on your own. Sit down and before you write anything, read through all of your previous documents to re-familiarise yourself with the things you have said before about how your condition(s) affect you and what the medical people involved in your care have said about your conditions.  If you don't have all these documents then set about asking the DWP for copies asap as they will help you to make the best possible case this time and will cut down the workload for you this time (and next time).

You need to keep things rational and practical and not spin off into 'anxiety-orbit'.  I know its not easy but its the best way to get yourself through this and to give yourself the best chance of a good outcome for your claim. There is no reason to be assuming the worst - you have a perfectly good chance of remaining in the support group.  Obviously you can't take anything for granted but getting yourself into an out of control panic where you assume the worst possible outcome is not going to help you get the form completed or get through the process. OK, the timing on the run up to Christmas isn't ideal but there's nothing you can do about that so you just have to work through the form, give yourself the best chance of a good outcome and forget about the time of year being less than ideal.   Every time you feel yourself getting into an anxiety tail-spin, take a deep breath and use whatever interventions you have been taught in the past to try and control your anxiety.  Monic will help you so you are not on your own and will have her invaluable support.

Hang in there and just take it all a day at a time. 

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2017, 12:21:49 PM »
Its now 6 days since this form arrived and I'm really not handling it at all, right now all I want to do is sleep, because when I'm asleep I'm not stressed or worrying or depressed, all the enjoyment has been sucked out of my life and my first waking thoughts are now "oh god, another x hours to slog through until I can go back to sleep".

This is only after 6 days so god knows what I'll be like in weeks or months time.   I remember last time it went on for like 14-16 weeks and it was a nightmare, I'm really not sure I can cope with going through it all again.

Thankfully Monic is helping me and I plan on starting filling the form once I hear back from her, but really this is already making my life an absolute misery, I've used my blue inhaler more in the past 5-6 days than I have in the past 2 months and I'm constantly bursting into tears. 

I don't know why they put us through this hell over and over, I'm 55 and will only get worse, not better.  I swear this crap takes years off my life, perhaps that's why they do it.

Member of POMMAS

Sunny Clouds

  • Charter Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4167
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2017, 02:54:42 PM »
I struggle like this with every form, and you can see just from the length of my thread when I got my PIP decision the other day that I went into meltdown over that, but I've managed, with the help of others here, to take a breath and tackle a bit.  Maybe you can take strength from knowing that lots of others find it difficult but somehow hang on in there?

And do they know what it does to us?  I think it makes better sense if you take on board that those in government, those drafting the rules, those implementing the rules etc. all have different levels of understanding not just based on their roles but based on their personal experiences.  Some don't care what happens to us so long as they can meet their other aims, some do care but just don't get it as to what they're doing, some do get what they're doing and would like us to drop dead etc.  Don't assume that those that are doing it all have the same level of knowledge, research, intellectual capacity, ability to care about others emotionally and/or intellectually, sense of decency etc.   If you remember that people in power aren't all the same, it makes more sense. 

Anyway, I've spent just a little bit of time today trying to get it together to sort out my request for a review, telling myself over and over again to pay attention to what others here have told me and not go into obsessive-compulsive meltdown.  Would you join me in taking just a few little 'baby steps' today?  Just enough to know you've done something, but not enough to feel overwhelmed?  It's all I can manage to do on a day like this.

 >bighugs<

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2017, 08:09:24 PM »
Thanks Sunny.
Member of POMMAS

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2017, 08:21:01 PM »
Update:- 

With help from Monic1511 my form is now 95% complete and will be finished tomorrow, but I'm not sending it right back, I'm holding onto it for a time and then I'll send it back recorded delivery as usual.

tbh I had 95% done it yesterday but today has been a bad day,  the depression, stress, intense worry just got to me in a bad way again and I was in no fit state to complete it, I doubt they'd want it soaked in tear stains   ..although I dunno, it might amuse them to think of me suffering so.

anyway, I hope to complete this tomorrow and then put it aside for a week or so and "TRY" to calm down a little.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and help, I will keep you posted over time.   
« Last Edit: November 15, 2017, 08:22:49 PM by SteveX »
Member of POMMAS

Sunny Clouds

  • Charter Member
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4167
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2017, 08:27:16 PM »
 >bighugs<

SteveX

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1195
Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
« Reply #14 on: November 29, 2017, 08:13:41 PM »
Got another letter of them today, telling me to urgently send my form back, jeez they don't give you a break do they.

ugh :(
Member of POMMAS