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Disability Talk / Re: Should I be worried
« Last post by Fiz on June 19, 2018, 07:41:17 PM »
It's literally every single man I'm afraid of and I steer well clear of them all. To be in enclosed spaces with a man sends me in a panic. I'd never be able to see a male GP despite my head knowledge knowing that I'm not at risk. I was abused as a child by 3 separate males and then was in an abusive marriage for 19 years. I wouldn't chose to speak to a man in any group setting. I get round it by always requesting female doctors, female DWP assessors, female anything at all. When I'm in hospital I'm terrified of the male nurses. It doesn't make sense to me, my extreme reactions so I'm sure others must find it bewildering. The campsite we're going to in France that has offered us the accommodation free is a Christian campsite and there might be other groups but it'll mainly be families there. The transport from airport to campsite is owned by the Christian venue so the majority of people travelling will be Christians. Of course there are abusive men who profess to be Christians, my ex being one of them, but it's highly unlikely that there's any risk to me at all. I make sure I'm never alone with a man but I'm always on high alert. If any of the males in the group I'm going with came close I'd panic so I'd never view males as a protection, they're a threat to me. I have classic PTSD reactions and I hope I don't have a major PTSD trigger while away. If a man got drunk somewhere on the plane that would do it. It's difficult to explain but it isn't going to make the trip easy. I wish the accommodation I'm sleeping in will be all women, I have no idea if that's the case. I just know that the whole group are eating dinner together each evening in the accommodation I'm in. Thinking about it, if I were organising a group trip I would try to separate the sleeping arrangements between women and men for general security purposes and it's a charity taking us so I guess they have safeguarding responsibilities. I hope.

I doubt I'll be able to relax there. I'm not joining the group on day trips because I can't walk anywhere so many of the group will go off away from the campsite on some days and thankfully it's only a week. I aim to stay near the pool if it's not raining which is the most public area so if anything happened there'd be dozens of people around so almost certainly I'd be safe there surrounded by people.

Jlr2 are you going for longer than 4 weeks? I'm wondering why they said I was fine going without notifying them as it's less than 4 weeks but they've sent you a form?

I think I need to have to have information on me saying that my medication is prescribed? My medication will be in my case and each box has a prescription label on it, is that enough? The only tablets I will have in hand luggage will be a small metal pill box with medication I need during the journey. I've emailed the airline we're flying with requesting what assistance I need mobility wise which I hope they can accommodate. Both airports are Diddy local ones.
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Disability Talk / Re: Should I be worried
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on June 19, 2018, 01:46:05 PM »
Do the men in the group know you're ill at ease with men?  I've been in situations where it can help to say.  Having said that, the most beautiful situation I can recall was on a big NATO exercise where a group of male soldiers stopped me, whilst very carefully not surrounding me and whilst making it explicitly clear they would come no closer than I permitted.  They were concerned, they said about the behaviour of someone senior towards their female colleagues but none of the women would say what was going on, would I?  I wasn't in their unit, just liaising with them, and confirmed their suspicions.   He had tried it on (and I'd given him a free martial arts lesson).  That was all they needed.  Word spread amongst the men and then the junior officers and after that the man in question couldn't get near any woman, including me, without another man, be it officer or NCO or soldier, popping up seemingly out of nowhere "Excuse me, sir!"  Incidentally, it would have been the same if it had been the other way round, female senior rank abusing her position with male soldiers, we women would have rallied round and protected our men.

Of course, a woman should never need a man to protect her, but sometimes just knowing that the men around you are there for you has helped me in the past.

So if it's something you feel ok doing, consider letting the men know you're wary so they can take care not to do things that will worry you and also maybe 'protect' you by little things like making sure other men give you space.  It can be such a simple thing for a man to step across somewhere forming a harmless barrier with no implication except that you're travelling together.
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Quote
Sunny, the question on the on-line quote system reads, ''Not in employment due to disability or illness'' this is the box which I ticked on the quote which offered me the £164 premium so when the RAC customer service woman, Maisie, told me my premium was raised due to my employment situation that could only be down to my being unemployed due to disability hence discriminatory.

Which is why your recording showing that there was specific reference to your being unemployed because of your disability will be crucial.

But what a dreadful set up they've got.  If I were in  your shoes, I'd be fuming, regardless of whether there's any discrimination. 

But then forgive my negativity today, but too much in the way of the sales of ongoing services comes down to trying to lure other people's customers away with a bit of a discount but no more than necessary, whilst bumping up costs for loyal customers.  It's the total opposite of what I grew up with, and I'm sure one reason why so many people get caught out by it is that we don't expect to be ripped off.  It also relies on a certain traditional British reluctance to haggle.  That'll probably all be evaporated in a few years and they'll have to find a different way to rip off customers.



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JLR can prove it - he recorded it.
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It's proving what was said in the phone call that may be the problem. I can understand the annoyance though but I'm pleased they offered the lower price eventually.
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Disability Talk / Re: Should I be worried
« Last post by Fiz on June 19, 2018, 12:35:15 PM »
I just did a .gov.uk search and thought I'd found the right think because it said "even if itís just for a visit".  It looks like I should have searched further. 

I haven't been abroad for years.  Part of me would rather like to go somewhere but I don't think I've got the emotional energy.  Ah, yes, I know - Scotland.  Strange country with strange customs.  It's a pity, though, that they're ahead of England on their upskirting laws.  Or should I say upkilting laws?   >devil<


I haven't been abroad for years either. A charity group that is going offered me a free place and I said yes and I've regretted it ever since. I'm terrified of flying, I'll take diazepam, I'm scared of the travel, being close to men in an enclosed space, my pain levels and whether I can manage them and lastly but by no means least, the food issue. My eating disordered brain can't cope with it so I'm planning to take packets of food I will eat and the plan is I won't eat the same as the others, I will sort myself out. Right now, I  can't wait to get home and I haven't gone yet.
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Disability Talk / Re: Should I be worried
« Last post by Fiz on June 19, 2018, 12:26:23 PM »
My tablet is still charging so I've tried to find the government webpage specifically about ESA that said you only need tell them if you're away for more than 4 weeks but can't find it on my phone so I phoned them on the same number you quoted. Interestingly after dialling my mobile phone identified the number as SPAM ! with the exclamation mark in red which I thought quite amusing. It took me seemingly forever to get anywhere because I pressed 1 for ESA then you had to speak the words you're phoning about and it failed to recognise anything to do with declaring a holiday or going on holiday. I tried so many phrases it seemed the voice recognition was never going to give up! I was finally put through to someone who immediately told me I only need notify them if I will be away for more than 28 days! I guess that's why the voice recognition thingy didn't recognise holiday. Although if I was going to be away for more than 28 days I would need to be telling them. I suspect not many people on ESA go away for more than 28 days. Anyway I phoned and they told me they didn't need to inform them and I've got my call to them and the duration of the call in my phone records should it ever be queried. I'll have another go at finding the ESA webpage later. It's useful info if I can find it.
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Part of my issue Fiz, is that the on-line RAC quote system aware of my being disabled offered a £164 premium therefor the attempt by Maisie to increase the premium by £52 was out of order. That she tried to justify the increase on the basis of my being disabled was, to my mind, discriminatory.
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I have had to pay more for the fact that I was a housewife and not working for as far back as I can remember. It irked me at one point to be paying more for my car insurance for my old banger than my ex who was working and drove an all singing and dancing new Volvo with leather heated seats and who'd caused 3 accidents in the previous 3 years and I've never caused an accident ever.

It may be that insurance is still higher for people not working for whatever reason. That was the case 2 years ago, I've no idea if it's still the case but I never worked out why I had to pay more when not working. Maybe they assume that if you're not in an office/shop/work place from 9-5 then you've more time to be driving around all day. People who drive around for work pay higher business use insurance because they're driving around more.
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Sunny, the question on the on-line quote system reads, ''Not in employment due to disability or illness'' this is the box which I ticked on the quote which offered me the £164 premium so when the RAC customer service woman, Maisie, told me my premium was raised due to my employment situation that could only be down to my being unemployed due to disability hence discriminatory. For the RAC customer services to later claim I had not ticked 'any box' in that question of employment status is simply a lie.

''If the difference in how you were treated related to being on benefits because you were sick or disabled, not to your being disabled as such, then unless there's some other factor in the way you were treated that relates specifically to disability, then this isn't a disability discrimination matter, it's a general matter of not behaving honestly and/or decently.''

I can see and understand what you are saying Sunny.
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