Recent Posts

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Cafe / Re: Re-launching the ship happyness by bulekingfisher
« Last post by SashaQ on May 23, 2018, 07:39:12 PM »
Hello Captain  >biggrin<

Great to hear about your new home - sounds excellent, and much safer for you than having to climb stairs.  Must have been quite a change for you to move to a more urban area, but that is really good that you have shops nearby, and that it is a good community in the area >thumbsup< Glad to hear you've got your Yorkshire Tea supply sorted >biggrin<
Welfare Rights / Re: Refused home visit requested
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 23, 2018, 03:49:52 PM »
It takes time because of staff cutbacks, so it's sitting in an in-tray or in-box somewhere.  I struggle to cope with the DWP but when I come close to the end of my tether, I thank my lucky stars I don't have to work there.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 23, 2018, 11:36:51 AM »
We've got things in common, just as each of us has things in common with others here.

Whether you start out with mental problems or you start out with  physical problems, you can end up with the other as well.  Physical problems and obstacles can be mentally stressful; mental problems can lead directly or indirectly to physical problems.

I suspect that you and I have more in common in relation to some things than either of us would express explicitly, but actually that doesn't matter.  What matters is that each of us understands what it is to find some seemingly every day normal stuff variously impossible or frightening or terribly difficult or distressing or whatever.

For example, you, like others here and unlike quite a few people I meet in non-disability circles, understand that for me the main obstacle to going out as someone who has frequent falls isn't so much the fear of injury (although I do get injured) but the fear of people's responses.  Lots of people not in this situation would assume that it's a fear of being injured.  And it's that interplay between different problems that we Ouchers all understand, all relate to. 

Welfare Rights / Re: Refused home visit requested
« Last post by Fiz on May 23, 2018, 10:30:36 AM »
I had a text this morning from the DWP saying they've received my consultation report and that I should hear from them within 4 weeks. The message says meanwhile do not contact them unless there's a change of circumstances. Now they have it, I can't see why it would take ages to make a decision, it's not like they're going to spend days reading it?

Good to know it's there though.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Fiz on May 23, 2018, 10:25:57 AM »
Yes I think I will ask her when I meet her. At worst, the answer will be no, so we do something else.  >thumbsup<

Sunny, I've wished before that you lived closer so we could meet up! Not in any way for chores but often you get my thinking which I often struggle to do myself.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by KizzyKazaer on May 22, 2018, 09:23:42 PM »
I don't see why the support worker wouldn't be amenable to giving you some assistance in a bedroom blitz - after all, you could point out (and I've found this to be very true) that, while there are significant cleaning/sorting household jobs outstanding, this in itself can add to anxiety about going out... because (maybe even on a subconscious level) you feel that you should be indoors cracking on with said chores!!  Once they're done, this could well 'release' you into a frame of mind where leaving the house becomes a more appealing prospect.  If the support worker knows her onions, she will be aware of all this herself anyway, so do talk to her about your concerns around the bedroom and anything else that's keeping you 'stuck'...
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 22, 2018, 06:26:07 PM »
One thing that bugs me is that there seems to be no voluntary scheme either where I live or where you live to match obsessive compulsive people like me up with people like you.  My OCPD manifests in part in an oscillation between an urge to hoard and an urge to clear out.  It's an urge to 'have the right amount' of stuff.  I panic if I don't have enough and panic if I've too much.

But I've worked in lots of jobs involving clearing, sorting, weeding, organising etc., whether that's filing or  storage or whatever.  I've done tidying and sorting swaps with people, each doing what we were good at in each other's places.

There must be loads of people like me and loads of people like you.  What a pity there's no 'dating agency' as it were for people with the urge to sort and tidy and weed, and people who need help of that sort.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Fiz on May 22, 2018, 05:24:49 PM »
I often wonder if my fear of men will die away or reduce sunny, it hasn't happened yet ten years post separation but I'm on the waiting list for compassion focused therapy and apparently following that there is a therapy called compassion focused trauma therapy and the CMHT psychologist said that therapy definitely significantly reduces reactions to triggers so I am really hoping that after the 8 week group course for compassion focused therapy that I will also be offered the trauma extension of the same therapy. No promises have been made but when I said to the psychologist how my reaction to triggers can be extreme and are very distressed she was eager to tell me about the trauma extension and how good the results can be and it doesn't make sense to me to tell me that and then not offer it.

The man who came today really couldn't have been nicer. Talking but calmly and slowly and when he said how lovely the position of my house is and I agreed and said I loved it here but earlier in my tenancy I'd had some trouble with two neighbours including criminal damage etc and said one neighbour's nastiness was based on the jealousy that I'm renting my house so get maintenance for free whereas they've bought theirs so have to pay for their own repairs he said he hears that said so often by tenants and it's really not pleasant. If I could just book this electrician for every repair I think I'd be calmer in the run up. And he fixed the shower quickly and easily.

The adult services duo came again and I am eligible for support from them. Apparently the mental health team are going to offer a support worker on a short term basis and if that's proving useful they can continue that. Age concern can offer a volunteer befriended,  I really don't feel old enough for age concern but they say it's fine. There's a transport service that provides transport to and from medical appointments. They're going to find out the costs. A cleaner would have to come out of my PIP money but up to and including September all of it is paying for my prepayment funeral plan. So nothing can happen until after that. Oh they're going to find out if the transport to medical appointments can be booked specifically as lady drivers only.

I really don't know if the support worker is going to try and get me out and that scares me. I mentioned to my dd today that being housebound for a length of time has definitely worsened my social anxiety. Logic tells me that if I do go out briefly and regularly the anxiety must then reduce. So nothing is in place yet. This visit was to assess what I think of their ideas. Everything seems to be such a long process. I'm wondering if a support worker would help me blitz my bedroom. Mounds of thinks block access to chests of drawers an I'm living in one outfit which gets washed and dried overnight, however it is possible that I have other clothes that fit me if I could just get to them. I know a tidy and then cleaned room would help my mood considerably but it seems a lot to ask. Especially if their aim is to get me out of the house.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 22, 2018, 10:36:40 AM »
I wish I could think of a way to make you feel less afraid of men in your personal space, but you've been hurt and old hurts leave long shadows, so all I can do is to hope that any discomfort having a male plumber there causes you subsides quickly.


Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 22, 2018, 10:22:43 AM »
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