Author Topic: Using my cane again perhaps  (Read 201 times)

Sunny Clouds

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Using my cane again perhaps
« on: May 13, 2017, 12:09:20 AM »
I'm having falls but they're mostly in crowds or when I'm tired.  My physio has suggested going back to using my white stick, not because of my vision problems, but to tell people to steer clear of me.  (An ordinary walking stick not only doesn't help, it gets in the way.)  I'd simply have rejected it before because my  hands haven't been sensing position very well, but my medication is reduced a lot now, and they seem to be more sensitive.

As regards my vision, I've still got the nystagmus and other problems, just not the night-blindness.  In fact, I've got something rather weird happening.  I seem to be surrounded by green, many, many shades of green, but especially pale green.  There's lots of acid yellow.  There's not much peach, apricot, mustard, brown, red, and the blues look a bit weird.  I've been doing colour blindness tests online and there's no colour missing.  (I do have very variable tritanomaly following a head injury in an accident many years ago, but that's not the issue.)  I think what's actually happening is that I'd lost more day (colour) vision than I realised and I'm getting it back.  Weird, but presumably something I'll adjust to.

However, whilst I wouldn't be embarassed to use my white cane, I'd be terribly anxious lest people think I'm faking it.

On the other hand, I fell over on two buses today, was knocked flying by only a glancing contact from a cyclist on the pavement, and struggled to keep my balance when someone else jostled me.  I feel battered and weary.  I'm not actually badly  bruised or anything, just sorry for myself. 

Maybe I'd be happier to go back to the idea I had when I originally had a white cane of covering it with something so it's not white.  Surely it must be possible to find something I can use, if not some tubing I can buy then some tape that's a good width for me to sew two strips together to make a tube.

I don't know.  It's difficult, isn't it?

NeuralgicNeurotic

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2017, 07:40:12 AM »
 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<

SunshineMeadows

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2017, 09:44:15 AM »
Sunny,

Do you have a normal walking gait? I ask because it could be that people around you can already see you have mobility issues. I can see the logic of using a cane again but if it makes you anxious about being seen as a fake that will affect you balance maybe more than using the cane benefits you.


Sunny Clouds

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2017, 10:29:17 AM »
I have a normal gait.  That's the big problem.  I look perfectly ok, and then I topple over when someone jostles me.   Men, generally being taller than me, seem often to make the assumption that they'd been a careless 'brute' knocking over the smaller grey-haired woman, but quite a few women give me looks that seem to range mainly through bafflement to disgust, which I think is based on an assumption that I must be drunk/on something).  Parents whose children knock me over tend to be more concerned about their children than me.

Maybe some more thought.  Meanwhile, I've been mentally flattened by my PIP letter today.  I did quite a bit of work last year on working out which criteria were relevant and how to present my case, but I've forgotten it all and I'm not up-to-speed on the latest case law.  I've a suspicion this may actually be relevant, which I suppose is funny in a way.  What I mean by that is that if I'm frightened to go out (which I genuinely am a lot of the time) because of falls, so I need someone with me, even if in practical terms that just means a driver from my local taxi company taking me somewhere, so I think it's one of those borderline things, isn't it, where it's a bit mental and a bit physical?

Believe it or not, I've actually worked on multimillion pound funding applications with less anxiety, albeit with no lack of awareness of the importance of them.  There's a thought - today I shall contemplate which is scarier: a PIP claim or a white cane!

lankou

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2017, 10:45:14 AM »

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2017, 11:36:38 AM »
Perfect!  But I can't find the relevant PIP descriptor for the allowance for it.  Maybe I should sue someone for compensation next time they knock me over in order to get the money to buy one.  Second thoughts, my case would crash at the point at which I fell over in the preliminary small-claims track hearing.  "I submit, your honour, that I would not have fallen over if the defendant had not pushed me, and that therefore...oops, sorry your honour, are you alright?  I didn't mean to knock your desk over when I fell."

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Using my cane again perhaps
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2017, 12:44:42 PM »
I've just been looking back over PIP criteria etc.  As far back as spring 2015, I downloaded lots of official PIP documents and guides, then copied and pasted the criteria into a table, then separated out the criteria I considered irrelevant, e.g. managing toilet needs, then put extracts of official and unofficial guidance in a second column, and my own comments in a third.  I had another look in 2016 and then in about January this year. 

Looking again now, it occurs to me again that this is yet another part of the welfare reforms going back over successive parliaments where you are in a catch-22 when it comes to trying to help yourself.

Trying to improve your condition runs the risk of making it worse, but it also runs the risk of a benefits renewal meaning less or none of a benefit because of an improvement, even though that actual improvement may be at the expense of a worsening that doesn't attract points for a benefit, or the improvement may be precarious leaving you to put in a re-claim later.

So I play musical meds to balance the mental illness versus the neurotoxicity.  What is, on a purely personal level, a question of whether it's  better to 'fall over' mentally or physically, becomes a financially loaded one.

Can I insert in the PIP application bit about complex budgetting decisions something about how thanks to all the welfare reforms, whether to increase/decrease my meds/therapy/efforts to do difficult things is now a 'complex budgetting decision'?  Because that's what it's become.