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Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Fiz on May 22, 2018, 05:24:49 PM »
I often wonder if my fear of men will die away or reduce sunny, it hasn't happened yet ten years post separation but I'm on the waiting list for compassion focused therapy and apparently following that there is a therapy called compassion focused trauma therapy and the CMHT psychologist said that therapy definitely significantly reduces reactions to triggers so I am really hoping that after the 8 week group course for compassion focused therapy that I will also be offered the trauma extension of the same therapy. No promises have been made but when I said to the psychologist how my reaction to triggers can be extreme and are very distressed she was eager to tell me about the trauma extension and how good the results can be and it doesn't make sense to me to tell me that and then not offer it.

The man who came today really couldn't have been nicer. Talking but calmly and slowly and when he said how lovely the position of my house is and I agreed and said I loved it here but earlier in my tenancy I'd had some trouble with two neighbours including criminal damage etc and said one neighbour's nastiness was based on the jealousy that I'm renting my house so get maintenance for free whereas they've bought theirs so have to pay for their own repairs he said he hears that said so often by tenants and it's really not pleasant. If I could just book this electrician for every repair I think I'd be calmer in the run up. And he fixed the shower quickly and easily.

The adult services duo came again and I am eligible for support from them. Apparently the mental health team are going to offer a support worker on a short term basis and if that's proving useful they can continue that. Age concern can offer a volunteer befriended,  I really don't feel old enough for age concern but they say it's fine. There's a transport service that provides transport to and from medical appointments. They're going to find out the costs. A cleaner would have to come out of my PIP money but up to and including September all of it is paying for my prepayment funeral plan. So nothing can happen until after that. Oh they're going to find out if the transport to medical appointments can be booked specifically as lady drivers only.

I really don't know if the support worker is going to try and get me out and that scares me. I mentioned to my dd today that being housebound for a length of time has definitely worsened my social anxiety. Logic tells me that if I do go out briefly and regularly the anxiety must then reduce. So nothing is in place yet. This visit was to assess what I think of their ideas. Everything seems to be such a long process. I'm wondering if a support worker would help me blitz my bedroom. Mounds of thinks block access to chests of drawers an I'm living in one outfit which gets washed and dried overnight, however it is possible that I have other clothes that fit me if I could just get to them. I know a tidy and then cleaned room would help my mood considerably but it seems a lot to ask. Especially if their aim is to get me out of the house.
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 22, 2018, 10:36:40 AM »
I wish I could think of a way to make you feel less afraid of men in your personal space, but you've been hurt and old hurts leave long shadows, so all I can do is to hope that any discomfort having a male plumber there causes you subsides quickly.


Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Sunny Clouds on May 22, 2018, 10:22:43 AM »
Disability Talk / Re: Social needs assessment
« Last post by Fiz on May 22, 2018, 06:12:46 AM »
Absolutely dreading today. Plumber (man) coming any time after 8.30 to look at shower, he didn't turn up yesterday as he was running late. The social care needs assessment team are here at 9.30. And the dog walker is collecting the dog around lunchtime, I usually cry the whole time the dog's gone because my social anxiety about the general chit chat when the dog is returned is sky high. No chit chat happens at the start as the walker is dragged excitedly to the dog van the second she is collected. But I know my mood can hugely be affected by stress so I'm unsure how I will cope with 3 things in one day. And having such social anxiety always makes me feel stupid and weak and "not normal". Whereas I do understand my fear of men and how difficult I find it if one enters my safe space, because I know what I went through. I guess that's the difference, I don't understand the social anxiety.
Welfare Rights / Re: Refused home visit requested
« Last post by SteveX on May 21, 2018, 08:10:51 PM »
My thoughts are with you, Fiz and Kizzy.  >bighugs<
Welfare Rights / Re: Refused home visit requested
« Last post by Fiz on May 21, 2018, 07:28:07 AM »
Warning, mentions SH.

I spent a long time with a paramedic and student paramedic last night (don't ask) who at first suggested I phone around the local funeral homes and go anyway to see fil but once realising xh is the cause of the PTSD and could harm me but more likely take his anger out on the children she said not. She suggested writing fil a letter saying all the things that I would love to have said to him during the last 10 years if I'd been allowed to see him. That'll be a painful exercise but might reduce the hurt I feel over being prevented by my xh to have any contact with fil. We also talked about getting something to commemorate him and I've wondered if I could find someone who makes personalised garden knomes. If I can I'd like one with a Saints shirt on with fil's name on the back. Fil loved football and had a Saints season ticket for many years until he was too ill to go. So I've some ideas for things to do at a set point. I need to be calmer and less raw than the pain is now though. The paramedic was so lovely though, spending a long time talking to me about things that would help me process the death and deal with the grief, long after she'd finished what she was here for.

I said I feel guilty for the cost to the NHS as the dressings I'm prescribed are expensive. She said I must never feel guilty for using what I need plus I've saved the NHS money by not going to hospital and I also save NHS money because I remove my own sutures and don't see a nurse. How come people have an ability to always be positive?
Cafe / Re: Sailing yachts around the world.
« Last post by Prabhakari on May 21, 2018, 01:23:31 AM »
Powerful stern wind; more than 30 knots.
Big, following seas, lots of spray.
Nearing Tasmania.
I agree.

In fact, before smoking became verging on taboo, people used to use smoking as part of weight loss programmes.  I don't mean officially, but certainly openly.

I do not want to inhale other people's smoke, but then they probably don't want to smell my food. 

Gosh, I'm ranty at the moment!
Welfare Rights / Re: Refused home visit requested
« Last post by ally on May 20, 2018, 07:30:48 PM »
Wait a few days until funeral is over, then, put flowers on his grave, or, in memorial garden.  You don't need to put name on card to say who flowers are from.  In that way, you're paying your respects without repucussions, or, confrontation.  Alternatively, plant something in your garden for rememberance.  These ones mean innocence in the soul of the departed, they're associated with funerals.   A rose tree, daffodils, tulips,lilies or  hydrangea.  >rose<
Disability Q and A / Re: incontinence wear
« Last post by Fiz on May 20, 2018, 06:27:18 PM »
Thanks I will definitely look for some, they seem ideal.
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