Author Topic: Refused home visit requested  (Read 1838 times)

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #45 on: May 16, 2018, 11:39:44 PM »
I'll be thinking of you.

 >bighugs<
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #46 on: May 17, 2018, 05:13:37 AM »
I'm really not good with phones. Apart from texts, even with my children. In my crisis plan it says that I find it extremely difficult to make phone so if I call for help then I really need help. They still tell you to make a hot drink and listen to some music, I've long since given up on out of hours.

I can't get to a shop and only 5 in the bank until tomorrow so no treats for me today. I'm really unsure how I will be following the assessment, history tells me, not good but today is a new day so I  mustn't assume that. Right now I'm anxious but it's containable. I feel sick but I'll take an antiemetic in an hour so.

Yes my GP is phoning me around 4pm. I wish it were earlier but her home visits take up her lunch break so that's her first pause. If I'm able I will check in later.

Did I read somewhere that you can get text updates on PIP updates or is that only people appealing? Waiting for the result will be hard. Again I barely slept last night, feeling too wired. When I  first got out of bed this morning my back was really painful. Is it terrible of me to think if my back continues to be this painful that it's a good thing today? I felt guilty even thinking that. I'm struggling to breathe I think I must be more anxious than I thought.

KizzyKazaer

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #47 on: May 17, 2018, 08:54:43 AM »
Quote
Did I read somewhere that you can get text updates on PIP updates or is that only people appealing?

I'm pretty sure it's appeals only ..

Quote
Is it terrible of me to think if my back continues to be this painful that it's a good thing today? I felt guilty even thinking that.

Not terrible at all given the hoops that the system makes us jump through to 'prove' our impairments.  You want the assessor to get the measure of your problems as much as possible, what's wrong with that?

All the best, by the way  >x-fingers<

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #48 on: May 17, 2018, 09:27:31 AM »
You can ring the dwp department that deals with your claim and request a copy of your f to f assessment.  The assessor files the claim with the assessor provider and they submit  it to the dwp.  It's usually available within a few days.  From the assessors report you can see how they've scored you, and, their comments.  The DM rarely veers from what the assessor has on the report.  Hopefully, it'll all be good.  If not, it'll give you more time to work out what to do next.  The mandatory consideration rarely changes anything, or, much.  Sunny was one of the exceptions  with her MR.  Please let us know how it went for you today.  I'll be thinking of you, and, sending good wishes, and, love.   >hugs<

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #49 on: May 17, 2018, 12:00:40 PM »
It was horrendous but not just because of the assessment and my back pain which was made far worse by doing the movements she was asking me to do. Last time I said to the nurse that some movements would be painful but that I would do them if necessary and her comment saying don't do them if it hurts you turned into Fiz declined to bend forwards. Which was accurate as I'd offered. So today I decided I'd do everything requested of me and it was the nurse stopping me from doing things if she saw it was painful so no one can say I declined to do anything.

But the awful thing is my daughter hadn't been answering any of my texts so I texted to ask her if she was okay yesterday and she replied she's just got a lot on her plate at the moment. All her academic work including dissertation are handed in and her next placement is yet to start so I didn't think it could be Uni and when she uses those words it normally means she's emotionally upset so this morning I texted her landlady to say I'm worried about my daughter and is she okay. The landlady replied she thinks it's a mixture of the anticlimax of submitting her work plus she's grieving the loss of her Grandad who is dying. My father in law lived with us as part of our family for most of my children's lives and when he developed dementia I was his carer. He is such a lovely man, I considered him to be my father. Soon after I separated with my ex in 2008 I invited fil and my 2 sons over for dinner and fil played Wii games for hours with the children, he laughed so much, he loved it. My ex by then had already moved into his now wife's house leaving our 16yo and 18yo sons to care for their Granddad who has dementia. My younger son who'd achieved A* GCSE's dropped out of college to care for his Granddad as he was up on and off through the night lighting the hob and turning the iron on, my son took low end drugs during this period to manage the stress. I'd actually wanted to stay in the house at separation so I could continue to care for fil but my ex refused to move so dd and I moved. 2 months later my ex moves in with another woman. Anyway after that one great visit from my fil in 2008 that he enjoyed so much, my ex found out about it and drove my 15yo dd off and very firmly told her that I was never allowed to see him again. Not wanting my dd distressed again I obeyed the orders but I've missed my fil so badly, he was a dad to me, I literally bathed him and cared for him in every way,  calming him when he was anxious about bizarre ideas.

Dd has been the only relative to visit him regularly in the nursing home my ex put him in, not even my ex went more than twice a year. His dementia has progressed that he recognises nobody and refuses to eat because he's already eaten, which he hadn't. Dementia is such a cruel disease. So I knew dd would take the loss badly when the time came as she more than the other two completely doted on him. Reading the text telling me he's moving had me sobbing for the half hour before the nurse turned up to do the assessment and it took me the first half of the assessment to get my mind off of fil and onto the assessment which reduced the sobbing to tears. I'd expected the tears. The nurse of course has no clue why I was sobbing, she'll have assumed it was the assessment. However I don't think I needed to tell her because I'm already in receipt of enhanced care and expect to stay there, rightly so. So I don't think explaining my emotional state was necessary or deceitful. 

I've taken morphine and tramadol to deal with the pain caused by the movements I was asked to do plus diazepam to calm myself down, I might take more diazepam or I might cry all day about fil. I have no idea why dd hasn't told me about fil herself. I have told the landlady that I won't be telling dd that I know about fil or she'll know we've been having a conversation about her. But I thanked the landlady for telling me because I can be grieving now and will be more able to be strong for dd when the time comes because I won't be shocked.

My younger son and daughter in law are on holiday in Russia at the moment. I hope the death doesn't happen before they return. He will also be greatly saddened because although he's only seen I'm 3 or 4 times since fil was put in a remote nursing home and my son doesn't drive, through the years we all lived together as a family, my younger son was always Granddads favourite and they were very close. And he gave up college to care for him and the result is a lifetime working nights on the living wage when he could have flown through college and uni and got a really decent job. He'd wanted to be a primary school teacher and male primary teachers tend to climb ranks faster than female teachers because female teachers tend to have babies. So he gave up a lot for his Granddad, willingly. My ex is a complete piece of shit and I very rarely swear.

Sorry for that completely irrelevant ramble. The nurse said the results usually take 4 weeks but are usually quicker. She said I might need of be reassessed face to face again or my reassessments may be paper based. She was nice, working at speed trying to work through questions at lightening speed. I'm not sure if that was for her benefit or mine because I was upset. My gut feeling is I will continue to get enhanced care and at least standard mobility. Obviously if I were to be awarded enhanced mobility, a car could be life changing. I can feel the morphine starting to work now, the pain is easing and the diazepam is slightly lessening the tension. Though spurging out all this emotion here might be cathartic and helpful in a way.

Once all the medication wears off I will know better how anxious I will be waiting for the assessment results though grieving the potential imminent loss of the wonderful man I consider to be my father will distract me from it.

If you've managed to read all that you deserve a medal. Thank you all for your kind thoughts, it helps so much knowing how other people here know the affect these wretched assessments have on us. I really don't want ever to have to go through this again.

Frances

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #50 on: May 17, 2018, 01:31:23 PM »
  You should be so proud of how you are handling everything at the moment.
Life really can be so tough.
     Frances  >hugs<
You need to give love to receive it.

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #51 on: May 17, 2018, 07:35:05 PM »
I agree with Frances, you've done well to get through it, especially with the news of your much loved FIL.    I'm surprised the assessor asked you do movements.  I wasn't asked to do anything.  I remained in my wheelchair, she didn't examine me at all. It could've been due to my SCS, and, other disabilities I have. I was also due to have spinal surgery within weeks.  If you're up to it, why not ring, or, get someone to ring on your behalf, and, request a copy of your assessment from the f to f you've just had.  It should be with the DM at the end of next week.   It'll stop you worrying.  Once you know for definite what to expect.  Then, you can move on.  Take things one day at a time.  Try not to let it overwhelm you.  I wish you had someone to talk to.  I think being so isolated makes things seem so worse.  I hope by now your GP has rang, and, you've spoken to her.  Stay strong >hugs<

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #52 on: May 17, 2018, 07:52:18 PM »
Fiz - just a thought - is it possible your DD didn't tell you about how upset she was about your FiL because she knew you're dealing with all the stress of the assessment etc. and didn't want to make it worse?  Obviously, I don' t know enough about her or about your relationship with her to know whether this might be the case.  Just a possible explanation.
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

SteveX

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #53 on: May 17, 2018, 08:20:19 PM »
Fiz, we're proud of you and we love you! >hugs<
Member of POMMAS

bub1

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #54 on: May 17, 2018, 08:21:14 PM »
Aw fiz you have been through it.
My heart goes out to you.
You can now try and put the assessment behind you.
Sending you big hugs. Xx

Monic1511

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #55 on: May 17, 2018, 08:26:39 PM »
 >bighugs<
 >chocolate< >tea<
Fiz, that's the trespass and social bit over with,  deep breathes and rest. 

You've survived, now try and dismiss it from your mind

take care

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #56 on: May 18, 2018, 08:21:00 AM »
Trigger: mentions SH

Thank you everyone. I went into panic mode later yesterday because although the assessor made it clear I met the 50 metre criteria she didn't ask me anything about the emotional distress after any social encounter and I went into panic thinking I won't get the points which would add up to make the mobility award enhanced. But my GP when she phoned said that even if this assessor misses this, it was fully explained by me on my application for plus cited in both my CPN's evidence letter explaining I've SH after appointments and social interactions since 2014 and my GP said the same in her letter and the print out of my prescriptions included 6 types of wound care dressings so my GP assured me that if that is missed that bringing all that to the attention of the decision maker at a mandatory reconsideration would be enough to overturn the original decision at that stage and it won't need to get to tribunal stage. She says she's had several patients in my position who have had the decision changed at mandatory reconsideration and none gone to tribunal so I mustn't worry. It is a worry though as I couldn't get to the courts physically or emotionally. But my GP has more experience than me so I must listen to her. I didn't think to talk about it with the assessor because my mind was on my fil.

Sunny, my dd does know I'm reapplying for PIP due to change of circumstances but I've not told her anything more and she doesn't know anything about the assessment this week. I expect she's under instruction from my ex not to tell me as he won't allow me to go to the funeral. I spoke a couple of sentences with her this morning on messenger and she's definitely very low.

My CPN is due here Thursday and I might ask her to phone the DWP for me. Does she ask for a copy of the report or the decision that may have been made? Or both? And I'm unsure of the phone number, hopefully it will be on the application form somewhere.

I've only had one PIP assessment before and that time the assessor had a copy of my application form and my evidence letters in front of her as well as the computer she was typing my answers into. This time this assessor only came with a laptop and no paperwork so I'm unsure how she will marry up all the paper evidence with the questions she asked me. She didn't ask me anything about how I respond emotionally to going out which are questions on the form. I'm very confused by the system.

Again, thank you so much for your support, it's been immensely helpful.

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #57 on: May 18, 2018, 05:32:08 PM »
I got my pip results around 3 weeks.  However, I was told it could take up to 6 weeks.  It depends on how busy they are.  Therefore, the decision from the DM won't be ready until then.  The assessors report that she sends to the DM should be ready by the end of next week.  The DM rarely veers from what the assessor puts on her form.  Therefore, it'll give you an idea what to expect when you receive the brown envelope from the dwp.  Ring the department thats dealing with your claim, it should be on the application form, and, asked for a copy of your f to f assessment.  Hopefully, all will go well.  >hugs<

Monic1511

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #58 on: May 18, 2018, 08:41:09 PM »
Fiz
if you get traumatised by the delivery of a DWP letter I would just wait until the decision letter arrives.

If you phone for the medical report before the decision maker has even looked at it then you will have the stress of a phone call,
a week - 10 days later you will get the report  - more stress as its a dwp letter.
You can't challenge the report until the decision maker has made a decision
You receive the decision letter - more stress or maybe not.


Alternatively you can try an put it aside until the letter arrives at you house and have a meltdown then.

Decision time can be 6 - 13 weeks so my advice would be live for today and try and ignore what has happened yesterday.

 >hugs<

Monic

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #59 on: May 18, 2018, 10:25:06 PM »
Monic is right  try and put it out of your mind until the dwp letter arrives from the DM.  I'm not Fizz, so was advising on what I would do.  I always face things head on.  I hate waiting for results of anything.  I'd much rather know now, then, I can move on.  Everyone is different.  Therefore, fizz, it's up to you to decide what's best for you.  Take care  >hugs<