Author Topic: Refused home visit requested  (Read 2183 times)

Monic1511

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #30 on: 06 May 2018 08:06PM »
Fiz
If you overmedicate make sure you tell the assessor that you have done this, don't make it normal though, if you overdose for a week then you'll be spaced out.  I know that you may need to do so that you can cope but they might take the view if you can do it once you can do it every day.
 >bighugs<

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #31 on: 06 May 2018 09:04PM »
I apologise Kizzy, I evidently didn't make it clear enough.  I was not suggesting that all people with mental illness would be applying for PIP would be needing the same sort of help or seeking to be awarded points for the same sort of help.  One person might need help with taking nutrition and another with cooking or whatever.

The key phrase of mine was " then they wonder why the assessor thought they were faking it when they said they struggle to do these things".  In other words, it related to people who, would be claiming points for help with things like washing, dressing appropriately, engaging etc. and who would, if making the extra effort with those things, come across as not needing help with them.
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

KizzyKazaer

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #32 on: 06 May 2018 09:22PM »
No need for apologies, Sunny, none whatsoever - just giving my alternative take on it ..

It's the silly, under-informed system of assessment that annoys me with its emphasis on outward appearance (which as we all know can sometimes be deceptive!)

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #33 on: 06 May 2018 09:45PM »
Ah, outward appearance  Ooh, can I rant?  It's living in a country where people expect us to put a brave face on things, a stiff upper lip and all that, and then don't believe that we're in physical or emotional pain or distress if we do put a brave face on it.
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #34 on: 13 May 2018 01:26PM »
Ally, I only cried happy tears because someone cared/understood   >hugs<

4 days to go until d day and I can think of little else. I'm going to go to the kitchen for the assessment as I will concentrate better in thinking about questions and answers there. I don't know what to do with the dog. If I shut her in the garden she will cry/whine/bark to be let in as she's always let in as soon as she asks but if I don't shut her out the assessor won't be left alone as the dog will constantly nudge hands and arms as unsubtle hints to be stroked plus the assessor will go home looking life a golden retriever also because my dog sheds 200% of her fur daily on anything she touches. It might be a very short assessment if I leave the dog inside.

I've struggled the last few days, I can't even muster up a text reply to someone. I have no idea how I will feel on Thursday, before, during or after. I didn't tell my CPN that I have my assessment date in case she wanted to be there. I get so embarrassed crying in front of people that if I cry in front of the assessor, I'll try not to, but if I do at least I won't see them again. I did tell my GP though and she's put me down for a phone call that evening. I hate this.

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #35 on: 13 May 2018 06:28PM »
Is there any possibility that your dog might tolerate being tied up near you?  Maybe with her bed and a toy and a treat.  Close enough to you not to feel abandoned but restrained so she can't get in the way.  Obviously not all dogs would be ok with that.
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #36 on: 13 May 2018 06:43PM »
I feel at times those on this forum are like a family unit.  Therefore, I do care what happens, or, how others feel on here  >hugs<  Can you not ask someone to take the dog, until the assessment is finished?  The trouble is, the assessor will ask how you manage to look after the dog.  You'll need to make sure they understand that you cant take the dog for walks due to your spinal pain etc.  Even picking up after the dog, will need to be explained away.  I know from experience,  that these assessors pick up on everything, and, can come to the wrong conclusions very quickly.  I know from what you've told us on this forum, that money is very tight.  However, if it were me, I'd pay someone to take the dog out until the assessor had gone.  It may be worth it in the long run.

if you have to keep the dog at home  Perhaps explain how the dog helps your MH issues. It gives you strength when feeling low, as you know it relies on you for its well being.  It works both ways, as you spend so much time alone the dog is the only one there for you every day. it's also protection at night time,  Make it out to be  more like a dog that helps you, rather than a pet,  Jot a few ideas  down for reference, remember it, and, use it at the f to f. If needed.  It's far better to be prepared for any eventuality.  Take care, and, I hope it all works out well  >hugs<
 

Monic1511

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #37 on: 13 May 2018 07:27PM »
Fiz
have your dog in the house but be prepared for the how do you care for the pet questions.  Don't try not to cry, cry if you must as you need the assessor to see how you cope with social engagement.  if you can stifle your tears while the assessor is here then you can stifle your tears most of the time.  that's the way their minds work. 

if someone can take the dog then you'll only have the questions about - I see you have a pet - Eh no my friends dog visits for the day to keep me company.

 >hugs<

bub1

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #38 on: 14 May 2018 02:44PM »
Fiz how are you holding up.
I would use your dog as an aide say it helps you.
It is easy for us to say stay focused but I know itís hard as when something like this comes up all you do is think about it I know thatís what I do.
Donít forget we are all here for you.
I donít know where you are based I wish I could come and give you a big cuddle.  >hugs<

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #39 on: 14 May 2018 05:25PM »
Thank you all  >bighugs<

I had half a text written to the dog walker to ask her if Tizzie could have her walk on Thursday rather than Tuesday though I'm fairly sure dog walking is the walkers lunchtime onwards job but it occurred to me that my anxiety about the 2 minutes chat in the doorway when I hand Tizzie over and when she's dropped off again raises my anxiety to panic levels and it's quite common for me to cry afterwards or get distressed so I didn't think two stressful events at the same time would leave me coherent. So she'll have to be here if she's a complete nuisance I will put her in the garden and ignore her pleas to come in. She'd never be tied up. A few years back she went to a professional groomer and she has a metal arm above to grooming table to tie the dog to so it's in the right place for grooming. Tizzie broke it. It was quite an expensive piece of equipment. I've recently started paying a walker once a week so Tizzie has some quality of life, I know what it's like being trapped in the house. I'm happy to be truthful and say the last time I walked her was in 2016 and I tried one walking service only to receive a very distressed dog with mountains of energy. I wasn't sure if she was walked much if at all and got very upset stuck in the dog van so she had only the one outing with her. I like this new lady though, she's very friendly which may in time ease my anxiety around her and Tizzie likes her, and she arrives home wet but tired. I haven't cleared up the garden since 2016 either so it's completely unusable for me, I can't care for it. The assessor is welcome to go and look! It was 2009 when Tizzie arrived and my daughter and I felt a dog would help our depression and she did. At the time I had the degenerative disc disease and was taking tramadol but could walk fine on that. I had a car then and we'd drive to parts of the new forest and Tizzie would hop out of the boot have her walk and hop back in having had a lovely run. The downside is, that meant she was not really lead trained as she had never been on one and 2016 was when my car went and the year the neuropathic pain started so I couldn't walk her long. She pulls like a train for 10 minutes then stops pulling and walks to heel. But I can't walk to the post box on the corner some days so there's no way I could take her myself so I'll be clear about that. I could give her the dog walkers details if needed, the company has a website and Facebook page and Tizzie is featured on video out in the forest. I love Tizzie so much, I couldn't part with her but I know I'm not well enough really to have her. She has a hard life. One walk a week is not enough even if she is almost 9.

I've decided the only medication I will take on Thursday is an anti emetic as anxiety can make me sick. If my pain is excruciating I will have to take some morphine but I will try a low dose, but will try my best without. Every day is going so slowly, I just want it over with. I'm self medicating myself to sleep about this time because I can't cope with being awake. I'll take what's needed to get me to sleep.

Fiz

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #40 on: 16 May 2018 11:08AM »
It's tomorrow and I'm so terrified I'm crying and nothing at all is happening today. I've just read through my PIP application and I can't believe how honest I've been   >crying<  I'm glad my GP and CPN won't see it. I was going to have it in front of me tomorrow to use as a guide but I know with my anxiety as high as it is I will be unable to read anything so I will just have to tell it how it is. I have my GP's evidence letter and print out of regular prescriptions of medication and dressings. I also have My CPN's letter. I thought I had gathered several letters informing me of when I was detained under the MHA and when I was discharged but they're not in the PIP carrier bag. My CPN has stated that I've been detained annually since 2015 which is saying the same thing. I wish I could find the hospital discharge letters from times I've been admitted for various physical needs caused by neglect due to my mental health problems but I can't find them either. I think I'm just going to have to calm down and go with what I've got. I barely slept last night so I'm doubtful I will sleep much tonight. This PIP assessment is so much harder than the one I had in 2016 because my neuropathic pain has now left me virtually housebound and the difference a car could make to my quality of life compared to my current feeling of having no quality of life is dramatic. I am not coping well with being housebound. And my social anxiety has got a lot worse probably because I have no exposure to meeting people other than my children on rare occasions and my CPN.

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over but I'm unsure how much better I will feel before the results come. Both my application and my professionals letters state I need a female assessor and my MP said the same but I wish I knew for sure that they've arranged that. I'm not sure if I can let a man in the house that's the trouble.

Sunny Clouds

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #41 on: 16 May 2018 11:24AM »
 >bighugs<
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

gorbut

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #42 on: 16 May 2018 11:54AM »
Donít try and hide how you feel tomorrow . I know that in everyday life we are encouraged to hide our feelings and not be too over emotional but you need to show the assessor what your life is like.

Also, while itís a good idea not to assume the assessor is on your side there are honest ones. My son and daughter were both lucky enough to get good ones.

Is there something you like to do or a food treat you can arrange for after the appointment tomorrow so you have something good to focus on, although I imagine that the physical and emotional stress caused by it will wipe you out for a while.

Hope it goes ok.




SteveX

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #43 on: 16 May 2018 12:40PM »
>bighugs<
Member of POMMAS

ally

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Re: Refused home visit requested
« Reply #44 on: 16 May 2018 02:09PM »
Fizz.  You did say your GP has you down for a phone call tomorrow evening?  I'd certainly do that.  It'll give you someone to talk to, and, calm you down if needed.  If it's any help, my f to f assessor was fine, and, I had no issues with her at all.  In fact all the assessors at the pip venue were women.  Just be yourself.  As Monic said, if you need to  cry, then, just do it.  If you're upset, at least the assessor knows you're not faking it, and, you have problems with engaging with others. 

I know it's pointless telling you not to worry.  I'm certain you will do so, until your results come through. Please be kind to yourself.  When the f to f is over, hopefully, the worst is over too.  Can you not focus on something else, rather than your f to f?  I know you're housebound, and, rarely see anyone.  However, is there anyone you can talk to over the phone tonight?  I hope all goes well tomorrow.  Take care  >hugs<