Author Topic: help help all around But never help for you  (Read 10422 times)

picnic

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help help all around But never help for you
« on: September 11, 2012, 01:39:48 PM »
It would be reassuring if someone else had experienced this phenomenon, or even had a way round it.

There is always an organisation for addicts, one for alcoholics, one for self harmers, one for black and ethnic general and another one for Somali, one for rough sleepers, one for criminals, one for alcoholics, one for battered wives, one for drug addicts, one for old people, several for young people, one for learning disabled, one for this that and every other religious group, one for disabled, one for refugees, and so on .

In every case (except immigrants), the 'client group' must be people who have neatly arranged to be born, and live out their existence, within one rigid geographical boundary.    (For the convenience of administrative and funding purposes)    They must also neatly fit the boxes provided for them.   They ought not to attempt to be both old and disabled, or disabled and battered, or old and homeless, for instance, because each organisation has an imagined client group profile and a pre-determined set of anticipated needs, each leading to a conveyor belt of processing through the system.    'Clients' who will not or cannot fit neatly into the prepared boxes are unsuitable for processing, so must "Go Away"       

None of the organisations can deal with anyone whose need for advice or practical assistance crosses their  ideas of who their clients should be, and exactly what advice or assistance they 'ought' to need.

(One typical widows 'n orphans organisation is rolling in funds, lavishly staffed in luxury offices in the most expensive part of London, and administers according to the founders' imagined list of needs, i.e. mainly private school fees for the orphans and replacement roofs for the assumed owner occupied houses of the widows, plus, from a luxury store, a christmas hamper mostly of wine and chocolates for each widow, costing probably a couple of  thousand pounds each in admin and delivery charges) 

You cannot  need an advocate's support under any circumstances, unless you have learning difficulties, so "go away".    You  cannot need, or qualify to have, any help finding a roof over your head, because you are English, therefore you must already have a normal permanent residence or permanent geographical locality if you are not a rough sleeper plus criminal record or plus alcoholic or plus mental health problems or plus drug addict or plus Young Person. 

(As an aside, OuchToo readers will know that No, there is no "They" who arrive the moment a disability related need arises.  There is no Free Car,   there is a two year or a closed waiting list for wheelchairs,  and a postcode lottery, with the most suitable wheelchairs being entirely unavailable in nearly every area, and limited to a lucky few elsewhere.   There are No merry armies of Home Helps and Nurses and Free round the clock Carers from the Council.    There is cruelty and misery and cold and lack of food and water and there is lying unchanged in excrement.   There is penny pinching from highly paid and extravagantly pensioned staff in town halls who may deem a paralysed man needs just two 15 minute visits a day to sustain not only life but quality of life.  There is solitary confinement which would qualify as cruel degrading or inhuman treatment for prisoners, or animals, but is officially assumed to be acceptable and inevitable for physically disabled people and old people.  And No, old age or disability do not invariably coincide with the arrival of an inbuilt free informal carer network and  social life through a Rich Circle of Caring Friends Family and - hideous phrase - 'Loved Ones', let alone a Partner.   Even ex M.P. Norman Tebbitt, whose circumstances make his disabled wife immune from the pressures of the average commoner, mentions living in dread lest one of her care workers becomes pregnant, which to her employer would be devastating  )

Every organisation will have a supply of forms to apply to the council for housing.....

But if you cannot produce evidence you are a new immigrant and preferably produce several children, too, you will not be 'housed',  because every local authority says you must remain three to fifteen years on a waiting list, proving you have never strayed out of their boundary line, and  even after 15 years,  the latest pregnant arrival gets priority over the merely disabled, for whom there is in any case no wheelchair access accommodation .      (You do have the option of  'aspiring' to survive long enough to get shoved into a separate ghetto, 'home' or ward where aged people are sent to be hastened out of their inconvenient unwanted existences.)

Every organisation has a set of forms to apply to the government for income.....

Did you enjoy yourself to the full squandering every penny you ever got hold of?    Fine, "Just sign the form, we tick the box for our funding, you take the taxpayer's money".    Or did you work hard for low income paying taxes into the system and living extremely frugally in order to keep back a little security against the future when you would not have a penny of private pension, no remaining ability to work, and a need to shelter   from the elements, buy a wheelchair, pay for people to do practical tasks to help you stay alive?     Then "Go away"

Are you spending down all your savings in one sordid b and b and one unaffordable hotel after another?    Can you not cook or prepare food or physically get to the shops to buy a sandwich ?    Then get a 10 taxi ride each way, and once a week  you could get a 'free meal' provided you look and sound as though you will mingle well with the other homeless hym singers. 

Having a little bit of savings is strictly not the same as needing no help, no advice, no moral support or practical assistance or even human company or contact from anyone ever, because of being that hated pariah A Rich Person.    A little savings, in the absence of any pension,  (and without any family)  is not the same as riches.

There is a long long way from having barely enough savings to pay for a replacement wheelchair and car, and full private rent and council tax and personal assistance for an uncertain number of future years, through to being smug and secure for life either because you are in a council house on benefits and with spare rooms to let out, a cash in hand income and a supportive partner, friends and family network, or else because you are in a taxpayer funded job with a golden pension in prospect, or even because you are in the trust fund tribe, or the w.a.g.s club.

Sometimes it seems indeed "to those that have shall be given, from those who have not, shall be taken the little they have".  Yet logic suggests the isolation and the organised exclusion from any perceived need could in fact be fairly commonplace.       More than one old person, or disabled person, must keep failing to fit the boxes, until finally they are crammed into that last one.
 

suessad

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2012, 03:53:07 PM »
Well put picnic.  >thumbsup<

Prabhakari

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2012, 04:56:08 PM »
It was ever thus in this country.
I am fortunate. I wanted to be a hermit, and now I am.

So far, not managing but still alive, and I bought my own wheelchairs. I have a standard heavy N.H.S. one in case the others break in some way.

As for going out, not done that for over a fortnight so far. Even then it is just to get meds.

Cleaning and washing. Not able to do that now. Still alive, though.

Visitors. None, but at least I can come here to meet friends.

Patience and practicing letting go really helps me. May you find some 'help' as well.

With metta, Prabhakari.   >wolf<
Bless 'em all, bless 'em all,
The long and the short and the tall.

Yvette

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2012, 05:31:35 PM »
Yes, since I became disabled all but two local friends have disappeared.

I still have friends I can talk to on the telephone but there is little chance of them ever visiting me because they live so far away.

It is very fortunate that I enjoy my own company and can keep myself occupied.

picnic

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2012, 06:11:48 PM »
Thank you, that shows others have similar non-rectangular tendencies.   ( Auntie C maybe won't fit in a tick box, either.)

Otter

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2012, 07:58:18 PM »
Picnic, I don't fit into any boxes either and I am busy at the moment creating my own

boccius

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2012, 08:52:14 PM »
Picnic: I am a little disturbed by your apparent singling out of 'immigrants' or 'new immigrants' for some sort of veiled criticism, and reference to "one for black and ethnic".

Are you saying that these people are NOT deserving of social assistance? Or that they somehow jump the queue in front of you?

If that isn't what you're saying, I apologise, but if it is, then I for one would welcome your criticisms being made clearer, so that all may see your position.

A

Otter

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2012, 10:28:35 PM »
Picnic what help are you looking for and I will see if I can do some matching?

as for ethnicity putting you first, its a myth, unless you know something I don't and if so please say as anythings wortha try

elevenses81

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2012, 10:38:34 PM »
Picnic,

  your analysis of the situation is spot-on, though others on this board might judge you 'reactionary' as they have me. I have been labelled a 'capatalist pig' by a moderator for suggesting that booze and drug addicts are less deserving of care than those who as you say, have tried to be decent citizens, pay their taxes and not be a burden on the state. Why shouldn't those who have tried to be good citizens be denied them by those who haven't paid a penny into the system, but jump the housing list and get every benefit going. It makes me mad too.
The day war broke out, my Missus
said to me she looked at me and she said, "What good are you?"
 "Well," she said, "All the young fellas'll be getting called up and you'll have to go back to work!"
 Ooh she's got a cruel tongue!

Sofie

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2012, 10:55:38 PM »
Quote
. I have been labelled a 'capatalist pig' by a moderator for suggesting that booze and drug addicts are less deserving of care than those who as you say, have tried to be decent citizens, pay their taxes and not be a burden on the state

Some drug and booze addicts have, I'm sure, paid into the system. Your comments were uncalled for.

DarthVector

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2012, 12:24:07 AM »
This part particularly irritated me:

...because you are in a taxpayer funded job with a golden pension in prospect...

I had a taxpayer funded job, doing something useful, no less. My pension certainly isn't gold plated, however, even assuming I actually get it someday without this Government or a future one destroying it altogether.

The problem with pensions is that public services and decent-sized companies all used to have decent pension schemes, but the companies cut theirs to save money, so the public ones were left looking much better in comparison. Public service pensions for the rank and file are not gold plated and never have been.

Instead, the companies effectively "lead plated" their pension schemes, and now people are falling for divide and conquer tactics to try and drag the public sector schemes down, when they would be better advised to use the public sector as an example of what they should be getting too.

Of course, if you want to talk about pensions for MPs, top-level civil servants or company directors, then those most certainly are gold-plated, and it's time something was done to stop people in positions of power feathering their own nests. As it happens, you can have your say on MPs' pay and pensions here:

http://parliamentarystandards.org.uk/payandpensions/Pages/default.aspx

devine63

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2012, 01:26:34 AM »
well said Darth Vector my public sector pension is not gold plated either.

The Equality & Human Rights Commission looked into allocation of social housing and the facts differ rather a lot from the myths:

http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/news/2009/july/research-finds-no-bias-in-allocation-of-social-housing/

Picnic - what was the point of your initial post?    Yes organisations inevitably limit themselves to a defined target group, it is one of the ways they keep themselves from being swamped.  It doesn't mean they are not helpful to some people.

Is there something specific you have been trying to achieve and have not been able to get help?
regards, Deb


Sunny Clouds

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2012, 04:31:47 AM »
I want to pick up on a couple of points.

As regards people addicted to drink or drugs, firstly, there are often underlying problems that they need help for and the substance they are addicted to is secondary, and secondly, there is a genetic basis for addiction and whilst some people can drink a lot and never get addicted, others have to drink/use very little before they are addicted.

Secondly, as regards what money is paid out by charities, most charities that give out money as opposed to providing services are dispensing privately donated money.  It is the case that in the UK, people are free to give their own money to whomsoever they wish, and if they want to give their money to widowed women descended from Cromwell's troops in the parish of Little Bogglesworth with at least five children, then that's their choice.

A lot of the larger charities that collect funds do so for a specific purpose.  If you don't like which funds collect the most money, you're free to campaign for the charity of your choice, or do like I've done in the past and set up a new one.  People like giving to animal sanctuaries in preference to child abuse charities, and they prefer giving money to cancer charities to giving money to mental health charities and that is their choice. 

As regards services for particular groups, don't forget that charities and other organisations providing services still have to get their funds from somewhere.  Sometimes funding is 'restricted', i.e. for a particular purpose, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the source of the funding only funds services for that group.  For example, a city council may pay money to one charity to provide services to one group and to another to provide services to another group.  The same charity may get funding from a variety of sources, some of it restricted, some of it unrestricted. They may be in a position to match fund (i.e. get funding on the basis of already having funding) and thereby extend their services, and they may be able to cross-subsidise, but that can still leave gaps.

I've been a trustee of various charities and I know how difficult the whole subject of money is.  But at the end of the day, a lot of money for not-for-profit services, funding and grants is provided by individuals, rich or poor, who've made their own personal choice as to who to give money to and if you don't like that, either you campaign for a law that stops people spending on what they want to spend on or you campaign for wider public services, although I don't fancy your luck with the latter in the current economic climate.

Personally, I would resist any attempt to tell me which causes I may or may not give my money to and if that means giving to a cause my neighbour may not like, then they're free to give their money to a cause they do like.

You talk about mingling with homeless hymn singers.  Is there actually any reason why people of a particular faith (and here I assume you mean Christians) should not choose to use their own money to invite people to share a meal with them in exchange for listening to what they have to say about their beliefs?  You don't have to go.  If you can't get help elsewhere, don't get angry with them: it's not their fault you can't find anyone to your liking to give you their money.  I find it like people who want their church to be open all the time, want it to be heated and welcoming, want whatever's on offer, but never dig in their pockets to put in the collection plate when it comes round. 

By all means get angry if public funding isn't equitably distributed or if it isn't spent on causes you think it should be (and heaven knows there are enough disabled people out there who think too much is lost to tax loopholes and not enough spent on care for disabled people) but please don't get angry with people for exercising their free choice as to what to spend what money they have left on after rendering unto Caesar. 
(I'm an obsessive problem-solver, so feel free to ignore any suggestions or solutions I offer, even if they sound terribly insistent.)

KizzyKazaer

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2012, 08:59:57 AM »
Picnic, while I can understand your frustrations (I am assuming that you personally have experienced great difficulty accessing what you need), it is ultimately futile to compare the situations of others with your own.  For starters, you don't know the ins and outs of their particular circumstances (how often do we emphasise this point for ourselves, when discussing neighbours who might report us for DLA 'fraud', for instance!)  Also, do you have hard evidence to confirm that all these different people are actually 'having it handed to them on a plate'?  (hysterical 'scrounger' articles in tabloid newspapers don't count  ;-))

But more important than the above is:  what can you actually do about it?  Instead of fixating on all these others, you'd be better off using your energy to try and effect changes in the system; badgering your MP could be a good start...

RedAndBlue

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Re: help help all around But never help for you
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2012, 05:21:22 PM »
I know where you're coming from. I've always been surrounded by fellow disabled people who always had a charity they could appeal to, funding granted and all sorts handed to them where as my parents have had to fight for everything I was ever given.

I've been asked why I don't have something and I say I don't qualify for it, or that i've been told the social services/nhs don't provide such a service or equipment only to be told by the person talking to me that they got it all, all no problem. No waiting period even! And it makes me frustrated, because by my record, I have been the last in a long line each and every time.

But then i take into account that I have a rare condition, I cross the border to elderly orthopaedics care despite being 23/24, but none of their stuff is suitable because I need children's size. It makes me wonder where other small people go, are we all in the same unsupported boat (Very bad thing for a boat!) and it makes some sense.

If you're an odd one out, there's not going to be a big famous charity willing to help you out. They have strict guidelines and tight budgets and if you have a range of problems, they rightfully assume that any other charity or grant or whatever can pick up the bill.

Some people are ruthless and will harass the governments and social services to get what they want. They will go to the papers, start campaigns and stuff to get things they either do genuinely deserve or threaten them with legal stuff. And it comes down to a game of who you know not what you know, and how much money you have to put into this stuff.

If you're already on the bottom rung money wise, very little influence in a social circle, and in my experience, with not enough energy to spare (my mum's disabled with arthritis, Dad only one working) you're just gonna fall through the net and not be heard.

It's not right and it's not fair, but it's not other people's fault that they get all the right boxes checked.
A man got sick because of officiate.