Ouch Too - a place for and about disabled people.

Forum => Welfare Rights => Topic started by: SteveX on 07 Nov 2017 08:17PM

Title: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 07 Nov 2017 08:17PM
Today my life was turned upside down (again) by the DWP.

I got a letter and I knew before I opened it that it was an review form,  took me two hours to build up the courage to open it but yes it is.   I am in a really bad way, this has already caused me immense stress, I've not been able to eat at all today and I was physically sick 10 mins after I opened it.

I am in the support group (obviously not for much longer) and although I've been worried about this arriving for the past 4-5 months, it could not have arrived at a worse time.   Xmas is my ONLY highlight of the year, the only time I really love and this year it was killed stone dead for me today by this.

Since its like 6+ weeks away, no doubt that is just enough time for them to get my form, stamp it "no way son!", send me for ANOTHER embarrassing and degrading medical and then stop my money 100% like they did last time.  ..just in time for xmas..   

I have been through this twice already and took it to tribunal both times and I was lucky to win both and the last time they upgraded me to the support group.

However.   I passed because of clause 35 and I have read sometime earlier this year that the DWP have removed that now or at least made it almost impossible to use by the tribunal.   

So I know now, before it all kicks off that I am destined to fail, so I guess there is no point me even going to tribunal for a 3rd time.

I cannot put into words how distressed and upset I am, I've cried buckets today and I feel so so low and utterly depressed.

I honestly don't know how I'll manage over the next month or so while this goes on, knowing I'm pretty much 'stuffed' before we even start is even more of a blow and worrying.

I don't know what to do,  my world has been literally turned upside down and I feel so very afraid and worried now.

 >crying< >crying< >crying< >crying< >crying<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 07 Nov 2017 09:07PM
Ok, let's start with the essential:

 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<
 >chocolate< >chocolate<

Ok, let's now look at the next step.

Yes, reviews are ghastly.   We all know here how horrible these things are.  That means you're not alone.  We're the other side of the screen, but we're real, and we're with you.

So what you need to think about is what does using 35 do that you could do anyway  by making sure you can tick other boxes?  The reality is, based on what you post here and what the tribunal decided last time, that you are supposed to be in the support group.

So download the criteria into a word-processing document you can start working on, i.e. that  you can type into and mess about with.  Then work through it.  And here's the really, really horrible bit - address the reality of how bad things are for you.  It's soul destroying but it's real.  If you've got problems doing things, you've got problems doing them.   Now is not the time for putting a brave face on it.

Others will be along with better advice, doubtless, but for now, it's going to be ok.  If you get your timing right, you can get the form in before Christmas, then get the results after, and have Christmas in between.  And I don't underestimate how big a thing Christmas is - I've just had a letter from the DWP telling me they've got all the info they need to make a decision on my PIP, so I may be appealing for Christmas.  But we'll get through it, won't we?

And if you can't sleep tonight, lie awake and daydream of May's government collapsing under more and more scandals.  Please, please let there be some really, really icky DWP scandal.   >devil<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 07 Nov 2017 09:20PM
Hey Steve, you have won twice before so you can win again.  2 you, 0 to the DWP.   >hugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 07 Nov 2017 10:15PM
Steve
STOP RIGHT NOW - Regulation 35 has not been abolished so stop that
As the others have said you need to look at the criteria and answer each individual question.
I can't recall all the things you have but look at the support group criteria and use the words in your form.

I'll look later on but please calm a little
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 07 Nov 2017 10:21PM
Thank you all, yes I'm trying to calm down.  going to try and sleep now.   thanks again, love you all.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 08 Nov 2017 12:31PM
I've been looking through the criteria and it's just so over my head, I don't understand half I'm reading and I'm not very good at wording things at the best of times.  I'm going to take a couple of days to "try" and calm down, I'm still very upset and feel sick in my stomach so I really can't cope with wading through this right now. 

it doesn't have to be in until the last week in Nov, so I can take my time, but from my reckoning last night if it goes like usual, I'll send that in and 1 week later be sent for a joke of a medical and then 1-2 weeks later I'll get a letter stating my money is stopped and "get a job scrounger!".   Which I am guessing will be around 22nd of Dec   ..Happy Xmas from the DWP!

Monic, feel free to say no, I won't be offended as I know how busy you are, but would it be possible for you to help me fill this out better? (I mean when I write it, I could show you what I put?)

I told my mum last night, fully expecting her to be upset and as worried as I am, but she took it in her stride, she thinks as I've won twice, I'll do it again.  But I know the posts are forever moving so I feel the opposite.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 08 Nov 2017 03:40PM
Steve,

I know how no matter how much I prepare for it having to fill in renewal forms stresses me out so I understand why you are so upset. We all need to remember how many people have posted on Ouch Too about getting put into the Support Group (again) or getting better PIP rates than they expected. I know every claim is individual but it does seem like those of us who got through the processing made from 2009 -2013 are being judged less harshly now - touch wood  >treehug<.

Do you have a copy of what you put in your old ESA50 and the tribunal outcome? It would probably be a good idea to have a look at them and use them when filling in the new form.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 08 Nov 2017 07:44PM
Hi Steve
to know how to word the answers I will need to know your conditions.  If you can send that in a PM - I will try and draft some answers for you and you can tweak them to suit.   I normally start with a copy of the descriptors - delete the ones that do not apply to the person and then give answers to the rest.

 >hugs<
Monic
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: neurochick on 08 Nov 2017 08:14PM
Steve - start by getting out the photocopies of the 2 previous ESA50 forms that you completed and copies of all of the papers/reports/medical evidence you've gotten to support your claims or gotten from from the DWP in connection with your tribunals. Use those as your starting point for filling in the new ESA50 so that the whole task of answering the questions is made easier, less effort and less overwhelming. Monic has kindly said she will help you so you are not on your own. Sit down and before you write anything, read through all of your previous documents to re-familiarise yourself with the things you have said before about how your condition(s) affect you and what the medical people involved in your care have said about your conditions.  If you don't have all these documents then set about asking the DWP for copies asap as they will help you to make the best possible case this time and will cut down the workload for you this time (and next time).

You need to keep things rational and practical and not spin off into 'anxiety-orbit'.  I know its not easy but its the best way to get yourself through this and to give yourself the best chance of a good outcome for your claim. There is no reason to be assuming the worst - you have a perfectly good chance of remaining in the support group.  Obviously you can't take anything for granted but getting yourself into an out of control panic where you assume the worst possible outcome is not going to help you get the form completed or get through the process. OK, the timing on the run up to Christmas isn't ideal but there's nothing you can do about that so you just have to work through the form, give yourself the best chance of a good outcome and forget about the time of year being less than ideal.   Every time you feel yourself getting into an anxiety tail-spin, take a deep breath and use whatever interventions you have been taught in the past to try and control your anxiety.  Monic will help you so you are not on your own and will have her invaluable support.

Hang in there and just take it all a day at a time. 
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 13 Nov 2017 12:21PM
Its now 6 days since this form arrived and I'm really not handling it at all, right now all I want to do is sleep, because when I'm asleep I'm not stressed or worrying or depressed, all the enjoyment has been sucked out of my life and my first waking thoughts are now "oh god, another x hours to slog through until I can go back to sleep".

This is only after 6 days so god knows what I'll be like in weeks or months time.   I remember last time it went on for like 14-16 weeks and it was a nightmare, I'm really not sure I can cope with going through it all again.

Thankfully Monic is helping me and I plan on starting filling the form once I hear back from her, but really this is already making my life an absolute misery, I've used my blue inhaler more in the past 5-6 days than I have in the past 2 months and I'm constantly bursting into tears. 

I don't know why they put us through this hell over and over, I'm 55 and will only get worse, not better.  I swear this crap takes years off my life, perhaps that's why they do it.

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 13 Nov 2017 02:54PM
I struggle like this with every form, and you can see just from the length of my thread when I got my PIP decision the other day that I went into meltdown over that, but I've managed, with the help of others here, to take a breath and tackle a bit.  Maybe you can take strength from knowing that lots of others find it difficult but somehow hang on in there?

And do they know what it does to us?  I think it makes better sense if you take on board that those in government, those drafting the rules, those implementing the rules etc. all have different levels of understanding not just based on their roles but based on their personal experiences.  Some don't care what happens to us so long as they can meet their other aims, some do care but just don't get it as to what they're doing, some do get what they're doing and would like us to drop dead etc.  Don't assume that those that are doing it all have the same level of knowledge, research, intellectual capacity, ability to care about others emotionally and/or intellectually, sense of decency etc.   If you remember that people in power aren't all the same, it makes more sense. 

Anyway, I've spent just a little bit of time today trying to get it together to sort out my request for a review, telling myself over and over again to pay attention to what others here have told me and not go into obsessive-compulsive meltdown.  Would you join me in taking just a few little 'baby steps' today?  Just enough to know you've done something, but not enough to feel overwhelmed?  It's all I can manage to do on a day like this.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 13 Nov 2017 08:09PM
Thanks Sunny.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 15 Nov 2017 08:21PM
Update:- 

With help from Monic1511 my form is now 95% complete and will be finished tomorrow, but I'm not sending it right back, I'm holding onto it for a time and then I'll send it back recorded delivery as usual.

tbh I had 95% done it yesterday but today has been a bad day,  the depression, stress, intense worry just got to me in a bad way again and I was in no fit state to complete it, I doubt they'd want it soaked in tear stains   ..although I dunno, it might amuse them to think of me suffering so.

anyway, I hope to complete this tomorrow and then put it aside for a week or so and "TRY" to calm down a little.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words and help, I will keep you posted over time.   
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 15 Nov 2017 08:27PM
 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 29 Nov 2017 08:13PM
Got another letter of them today, telling me to urgently send my form back, jeez they don't give you a break do they.

ugh :(
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 29 Nov 2017 08:50PM
Well I hope that you did send it back as they requested.  After all there is no point in delaying if you have completed it to the best of your ability.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 29 Nov 2017 08:53PM
Well I hope that you did send it back as they requested.  After all there is no point in delaying if you have completed it to the best of your ability.

I'll be totally honest, no I've not.  I'm 'due' to get my money this friday and I didn't want to send it off early and possibly lose that, so no but I am planning to mail it next monday morning and send it guaranteed next day delivery.

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 29 Nov 2017 08:59PM
Steve there is no way they wont pay you on Friday and by not posting the form it has no effect on that payment.  Please just post the form, once they get the form it could take them 6 - 12 weeks to even look at it.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 29 Nov 2017 09:03PM
Thanks for the info, I will get up early and post it guaranteed next day in the morning!

(The reason I've held onto it is that in the past I've had a letter back in like 4-5 days!  so wanted to delay it)
but yes, I will mail this tomorrow so they get it friday.

Thanks!
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 29 Nov 2017 09:10PM
 >thumbsup<  The way the payments work is that they can take 5 days to hit your account - stupid in the era of electronic transfers but that's what they tell us.  you payment due on Friday would have been authorised last Saturday, dwp admit this in universal credit cases as your assessment date could be today 29/11 but don't expect any money until 6/12 (5 working days plus weekend).

Good luck for tomorrow anyway >hugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 30 Nov 2017 11:25AM
it could take them 6 - 12 weeks to even look at it.

^^by god I wish that would happen. 

Anyway, its now gone and they'll get it tomorrow, jeez £6.50 for next day delivery on an envelope, daylight robbery!

I've done my best so all I can do now is wait, I would prefer they take their time over it but normally I get a letter back in 1 week, so expecting the same.

I do read about people sending these in and getting a letter back saying "ok, stay as you were" but that has never happened to me, every single time I've been sent for one of the awful, depressing and degrading  'so-called-medicals'. (So I think it's a myth put out by the dwp)  I would love just once not to have to go through the medical, the weeks of waiting and then the tribunal... just once!

Regardless of the outcome, I'd just like to say thank you to you all for your support and kind words and especially Monic1511 who (as always) has been so incredibly helpful.   >rose<

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 30 Nov 2017 06:07PM
Well done Steve.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 30 Nov 2017 06:58PM
 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 30 Nov 2017 08:15PM
 >bighugs< now  >hot-coffee< >chocolate<
your welcome
 >x-fingers<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 01 Dec 2017 10:16PM
 >star< >thumbsup<

The paper assessments do exist and we read here on Ouch Too about people who go through the reassessment without being called in to be seen.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 09 Jan 2018 03:30PM
I'm again in a bad state, was feeling low and depressed anyway, then a white envelope arrived and oh DEAR GOD NO, PLEASE NO!

I'm being called in again, I was hoping and wishing so much that I'd be ok for ONCE, but no.
Got an appointment on a Saturday in just over 2 weeks.

I personally find the "so-called" medicals, far FAR more stressful than any of the tribunals I attended.

Right now I'm just weeping and thinking dark thoughts that I won't go into here, but I'm really really really not sure that I can cope with going through this farce again.

I put so much effort into that form and it was all for nothing, why they think I can work when it's an almighty struggle just to get through an average day is beyond me, they are so heartless, cruel and EVIL.

Now I'm going to bad and sob myself to sleep, to hell with this :'(
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 09 Jan 2018 03:54PM
Oh for heaven's sake, this is ridiculous!  The trouble is that we all know it's happening but that doesn't stop it hurting horribly when it's us, does it?

All I can think of saying is that you're not alone in this.  It's horrible, but you're not alone. 

 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 09 Jan 2018 04:33PM
You are not alone. My assessment was due on the 3rd January it was cancelled and rescheduled for 25th january.
Try not to worry I am not as I will be contesting everything they say if it does not go in my favour.
I am waiting for day surgery which has been cancelled and now waiting for new appointment.
Your assessment sounds round about the same time as mine.
Every one here is so supportive and will help you as much as they can but you must stray positive.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Fiz on 09 Jan 2018 04:49PM
Yes Steve you WILL get through this. I know it is terrifying, it is for us all, but the day will come and you can go to the offices with your Mum and choose if you would like her to go in with you. Then it's 30 minutes at most and it's over. Be totally honest about everything, give descriptive answers rather than concise ones and you WILL get through this appointment.

I agree with you, tribunals are nowhere near as scary and the very worst that can happen following the assessment is you might get to a tribunal if the DWP don't reconsider their decision and I've been successful at every tribunal. Mainly because there's a doctor on the panel, they have knowledge, understanding and a bedside manner and they'll know whether you meet the descriptors.

Just repeat either in your head or outloud "The assessment is hard emotionally but I WILL get through this" over and over as necessary.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 09 Jan 2018 05:34PM
 >bighugs<

Does anyone know what determines if a claimant is called in for an assessment? I am just wondering if it is a computer program and not a person, then again even if it is a person it is rarely personal.

Also the last two times were you put  in WRAG or found fit for work? I am asking because As long as you are at least in WRAG your money wont be stopped and you will still have an income as you go through the appeal process.

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 09 Jan 2018 08:13PM
>bighugs<

Does anyone know what determines if a claimant is called in for an assessment? I am just wondering if it is a computer program and not a person, then again even if it is a person it is rarely personal.

Also the last two times were you put  in WRAG or found fit for work? I am asking because As long as you are at least in WRAG your money wont be stopped and you will still have an income as you go through the appeal process.

The last tribunal I attended, I won and was placed into the Support Group, that's where I currently am.
(it was regulation 35 that they said put me in there at the last tribunal, over 2 and a half yrs ago)
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 13 Jan 2018 05:10PM
 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 13 Jan 2018 10:04PM
Hi Steve, looks like we are going through this together.  Only you have more practise at it than I have.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 15 Jan 2018 09:21PM
Hi Steve, looks like we are going through this together.  Only you have more practise at it than I have.

oh dear  >crying< Well I truly hope you are handling the stress a LOT better than I am, I'm in a very bad way right now, I keep breaking down and crying buckets in sheer terror and fear or both the coming medical (medical my a***) and the impending doom coming afterwards.

on top of this I still have the flu, so I'm not even eating properly right now.  I was kind of hoping this flu would be nice and fatal as that would solve my stress and worries but alas it seems I'm slowly getting better.   But the worry and stress of the incoming meeting is utterly terrifying.   Yes I've done it 2-3 times before but that doesn't really make it any easier.

I really hope you're in a better place than me mentally and can cope like a normal person would.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 15 Jan 2018 10:06PM
"normal"!!  haha.  >biggrin<

I do not suffer from the anxiety that you have Steve.  I am trying to be very matter-of-fact about it.  I am reading up on PIP and seeing what others have said about the process.  I will then go through all my medical letters to see which ones would be useful for them to see.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 17 Jan 2018 10:32AM
Please try and stay positive I know it is hard but you will get through it.
I haymy assessment next week on the 25th. I expect to fail like I did the first time I had one and was in pieces but the lovely people on here helped. I went through a lot even having to go on assessment rate again and went through another assessment which after was put in the support group for 2 years.
But I now have another appointment which has been cancelled once and rescheduled ( not by me).
When is your assessment. All you can do is tell the truth take any more evidence with you like me.
Then wait and take a step back deep breath for the next stage. Hopefully it wonít come to that.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 19 Jan 2018 05:33PM
I am expecting to fail too, I always do and get 0-5 points, that's happened every time so far and I've had to take it to a tribunal, so I am expecting it to be the same, but even so, the 'so-called' medical is still intensely stressful and anxiety causing and what makes it even worse is that they never see you on time, they always leave you waiting 30-50 mins so they can "monitor" you in the waiting room.

Seriously, you wouldn't treat animals like they treat us.  my appointment is next saturday (seriously, an appointment on sat?!??) and I'm already losing sleep, eating less and worrying myself to death about it. (even though I know its an utter joke and I'll get 0-5 points, and yes I've actually been awarded 0 points before now.   it's insulting)

I wish you guys luck and hope we manage to get through this ordeal somehow.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Fiz on 23 Jan 2018 09:21AM
I always request the first appointment of the day so I'm seen at 9am, only once was I kept waiting as the assessor was caught up in traffic due to an accident on the motorway. I am absolutely positive that they don't keep you waiting just to see how you are while you're waiting. My 30 minute appointment at the start of the day took almost an hour due to the state I was in and the nurse gave me all the time I needed to explain everything. They do watch you mobilise though when you arrive and go into the appointment. But don't worry about them watching you as you are sat there, they have other people to assess and then their notes and forms to complete before coming to fetch the next person so they don't have time to do more than watch you mobilise into the rooms and sit down.

Don't forget to ask for their full name and their profession as soon as you are sat down and write that down in front of them. Knowing you could report them to the GMC for any misconduct or poor treatment as you have their details will help them make sure what they record is an accurate record of what you say and describe. That's my theory anyway! I did also write a few notes about some of the questions when distress was blocking my brain from thinking clearly so that if it were to go to appeal I would have prepared a full accurate answer to any question I felt unable to answer properly because of brain fog.

Try not to worry Steve, you've won your previous tribunals so you know that you're entitled to the financial award so try to walk in knowing that. Take care.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 23 Jan 2018 08:16PM
Thanks Fiz,

Both my previous appointments had me waiting 30-40 mins in the waiting room, so I assumed it was standard practice.
as for asking for their name etc, I'm sure that's a great idea but I don't have the nerve to be honest and usually I'm concentrating so much on trying not to break down that I can't do something like that.  I just want to get in and get it over asap.

yes I've won both previous tribunals but with constantly moving goals etc, I think I would be foolish to simply assume I'll be ok.   (although I doubt I could do that anyway as I'm a pessimist and always expect the worst things)

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: ally on 23 Jan 2018 09:44PM
I waited no more than five minutes before the f to f assessor came out to meet me.  She asked questions about what I had on the pip form, then, read back what she had typed.  My husband was my interpreter, so, most of the questions were directed to him.  She didn't ask me to leave the chair nor, did she conduct any examination.  She accepted the letter I had with me from the rheumatologist that I had seen the week before.  She asked me to sign for it.  On leaving she told me I had nothing to worry about, as I had lots of evidence.  On this occasion she was right. 

There would be nothing to stop you writing down what sections you think you should score on.  Then, ask if you'd scored on them before you leave. You can request a copy of the f to f  to be sent to you, before you get your decision from the DM at the Dwp.   >x-fingers<  Good luck
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 23 Jan 2018 09:48PM
Steve

by holding it together and rushing out before you break down you might not be doing yourself any favours, as they will report "claimant was able to engage, was not rocking in the chair, did not appear distress, was knowledgeable about their condition"  the assessor will introduce themselves, all you need to do is say, sorry I'm so stressed I wont remember that, can you scribble it down for me here please.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 23 Jan 2018 11:02PM
Steve

by holding it together and rushing out before you break down you might not be doing yourself any favours, as they will report "claimant was able to engage, was not rocking in the chair, did not appear distress, was knowledgeable about their condition"  the assessor will introduce themselves, all you need to do is say, sorry I'm so stressed I wont remember that, can you scribble it down for me here please.

I understand what you're saying.  Believe me, they'd have to be blind not to notice how stressed and upset I am at these things.  but yeah, I get what you're saying, I'll try to keep it in mind.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 25 Jan 2018 08:23PM
The closer this comes, the more terrified I'm getting.  Didn't sleep much last night, kept having nightmares.
I'm not sure I can get through this, but I know I have no option.  absolutely dreading it but at the same time I want it over with.

I'm sorry, I'm just talking nonsense but I have no one else to talk to, so you poor people get it. 
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 25 Jan 2018 08:36PM
 >bighugs<
When is the medical or do you even have a date yet?
sorry memory isn't great
 >dove<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 25 Jan 2018 08:45PM
>bighugs<
When is the medical or do you even have a date yet?
sorry memory isn't great
 >dove<

Its this Saturday, of all the days to give me. a Saturday.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 25 Jan 2018 09:14PM
Thinking of you.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 25 Jan 2018 09:19PM
All the very best, Steve  >x-fingers<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 25 Jan 2018 09:35PM
Ok - I can see why you're so anxious but at least the worst bit is all over in 48 hours and make sure they know how distressed you really are.   >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 26 Jan 2018 08:32AM
Hang on in there Steve. I had mine yesterday 25th just a waiting game now.
Let them know how it has affected you etc.
Are you taking someone with you?
Please let us know how you get on.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 26 Jan 2018 12:55PM
Hang on in there Steve. I had mine yesterday 25th just a waiting game now.
Let them know how it has affected you etc.
Are you taking someone with you?
Please let us know how you get on.

How did it go?

and yes my mum is going with me, I just couldn't go through it on my own, no chance.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Fiz on 26 Jan 2018 01:26PM
Hang on in there Steve. I had mine yesterday 25th just a waiting game now.
Let them know how it has affected you etc.
Are you taking someone with you?
Please let us know how you get on.

How did it go?


Bub describes how it went on their thread in this section Steve. Got through it and now waiting for results which is what you'll be telling us on Saturday too Steve.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 26 Jan 2018 03:38PM
Steve please hang on in there. It is stressful for you I know but you will have your mum.
As I said my last one I had a lovely lady. Itís just the luck of the draw. It wonít be easy resting tonight but do try to.
Sending you hugs and positive thoughts for tomorrow
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 26 Jan 2018 08:20PM
What time is your appointment tomorrow?
I will be thinking of you
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 26 Jan 2018 08:36PM
its at 10am in the morning.   and thank you!
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 26 Jan 2018 08:46PM
When you get back and have chilled a bit please let us know how you get on if you can.  If not when you are ready to do so.!
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: ally on 26 Jan 2018 09:14PM
Steve X good luck. Be strong >hugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 26 Jan 2018 11:44PM
Thinking of you.

 >x-fingers<

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 27 Jan 2018 09:05AM
Good luck today Stevex
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 27 Jan 2018 12:27PM
Well I'm home but that was bad, really bad, possibly the worst I've been to  :-(
The guy didn't have an ounce of compassion and keep pressuring me with uncomfortable questions and right now I'm still feeling really low and guilty for even trying to claim esa.   >crying<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Fiz on 27 Jan 2018 03:00PM
 >bighugs< Well done for getting through it Steve. Now you and bub are waiting for decisions. Try to distract yourself every time your mind goes down the worry road because worrying isn't helpful and won't change anything. Lots of self care and distraction needed now.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 27 Jan 2018 03:49PM
Well done Steve.
You deserve to claim ESA like everyone else on here and also those that claim PIP etc.,
Hopefully we wonít have to wait to long for the decision.
You can relax now and try and rest.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 27 Jan 2018 05:43PM
You know what's annoying?   When I go in that room, my mind turns to mush and my body goes into panic mode!
Now I'm home and had several hours to calm down a little I'm now hating myself because I've now thought of better answers to some of his more upsetting questions.

I couldn't think straight in there and he was firing questions at me so fast, sometimes I barely started to reply to the last one and he's asking me something else.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 27 Jan 2018 06:39PM
That does not sound very fair; on the other hand maybe he was trying to see whether you easily go into anxiety mode.  >hugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 27 Jan 2018 08:06PM
That doesnít sound fair to you.
Hopefully he saw what you was like.
Glad you have calmed down a bit.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 27 Jan 2018 08:14PM
if you are up to it phone and ask for a complaints form.  that way the assessor will know that you felt he was dismissive, rude and verbally aggressive.(my words I know)  it might put the wind up him
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 28 Jan 2018 12:17PM
if you are up to it phone and ask for a complaints form.  that way the assessor will know that you felt he was dismissive, rude and verbally aggressive.(my words I know)  it might put the wind up him

Thanks but I'd rather not, just trying to forget the whole horrible experience. 
although that is proving to be hard, I just keep going though it over and over in my head, thinking about how I could have done better etc.

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 28 Jan 2018 02:46PM
 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: neurochick on 29 Jan 2018 08:04AM
Steve I know right now you'd rather just forget it all but if you make a complaint about the way the assessor conducted the assessment then it can only assist you if you do subsequently have to go appeal and go to a tribunal again. It will do no harm and may influence the process in your favour. Think of it as just another step in the process.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 29 Jan 2018 12:23PM
I know what you mean stevex mine didnít even look at me her eyes were firmly on the screen and keyboard
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 31 Jan 2018 07:42PM
How are you holding up stevex?
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 31 Jan 2018 08:19PM
How are you holding up stevex?

I'm doing "okay" right now, I'm like a rollercoaster constantly up and down, one minute I'm coping okay, the next min I'm thinking back to the horrible "so-called" medical and weeping again.  I've also been in contact with the samaritans for reasons I don't believe I'm allowed to say in here but they have been a little helpful and it was nice just to talk to someone and blurt out all my worries and fears, even though it was via email.

How are you doing?
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 31 Jan 2018 08:53PM
Same as you.
Bit panicky. Just want to know one way or another.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 31 Jan 2018 09:17PM
The uncertainty is the worst part of it, I found while awaiting various decisions on various benefits over the years.  You need to find distractions - pleasant ones - to stop your mind chewing relentlessly on the 'will I, won't I' and 'did I, didn't I'.   It's natural to go over what you put on your form/said at your medical and to wonder if you've said/done anything 'wrong'.  You most probably haven't - but the human mind is a capricious thing and given to worrying about unknown outcomes.  Try to tell yourself you've done the best that was possible in the circumstances you were in at the time (that's all any of us can do)
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 31 Jan 2018 09:25PM
Already tried all that not working plus pain isnít helping.
Thankyou anyway
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 08 Feb 2018 08:32PM
This afternoon a brown envelope dropped through the box, oh gods I thought, this is it.

I spent the best part of one and three quarter hours building up the confidence to open it, quite frankly I'd convinced myself weeks ago that there was no way in hell they'd let me remain in the support group without going to yet another tribunal.

So as I gripped the envelope, knowing that the support group was out of it, I simply hoped I'd get zero points and then I could apply to go to a tribunal, what I did not want AT ALL (and what I thought I'd get) was to be put in the wrag, the state I am in, I could not cope with it.

I opened the envelope and read it, and literally went down on my hands and knees and sobbed on the carpet.  The sheer UTTER RELIEF of several months of stress and worry and panic.   They put me in the Support Group!

I have read the letter what feels like over sixty times today, I keep picking it up and reading it, just to make sure it's not a dream or I didn't read it wrong!

I cannot put into words how relieved I am, I feel like I've just climbed out of a pitch dark mine and I'm in the daylight again.

I don't mind admitting I took a taxi to my mums and we both hugged and wept with joy.

I am utterly thrilled to bits but VERY confused too, like I said after the 'medical' the guy was horrible and spat questions at me so fast that I only answered half of them and it was a terrible experience, so I'm shocked this is the result (but VERY happy!)

I'd just like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone on here, you've all been a huge help and so supportive.  Thank you!

(bub1: I hope your result is good too, fingers crossed for you!)

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 08 Feb 2018 09:01PM
Thatís brilliant news stevex. Did it say how long for?
At least now you can relax.
I am still waiting for my decision.
Well done.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Monic1511 on 08 Feb 2018 09:15PM
Hi Steve
That's great news,  they have made the decision on both the form and the report from the medical person
 >dove<
Monic
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 08 Feb 2018 09:21PM
Steve, I am doing a virtual cartwheel of joy right now at your fantastic news...  Support Group, yay  >magic<  >thumbsup< >biggrin<

Bub, I don't think ESA decision letters -unlike PIP - carry an end date;  I didn't have one on mine when I was moved from the WRAG to the Support Group a year ago (enjoying it while it lasts)
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 08 Feb 2018 09:39PM
Yes you are right there. I remember now I telephoned last time to find out how long to make a note of when it would be up for renewal (2 years).
Congratulations again stevex.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 08 Feb 2018 09:56PM
Thanks everyone, it's still sinking in.  think it'll take a few days before I fully realise it.

bub1 - it didn't have a date, so I don't really know.
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 08 Feb 2018 09:58PM
Great news!

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: auntieCtheM on 09 Feb 2018 12:28AM
What a relief Steve.  Have a box of chocs  >chocolate<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 09 Feb 2018 08:20PM
What a relief Steve.  Have a box of chocs  >chocolate<

oh lovely, thank you.   >biggrin<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: ally on 10 Feb 2018 05:19AM
Very happy for you regarding your ESA news.  Put the trauma of waiting and the f to f behind you.  You can finally relax now X  >chocolate<
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: Fiz on 10 Feb 2018 10:15AM
Excellent news Steve  >thumbsup<

Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: SteveX on 10 Feb 2018 11:57AM
Thank you all :)
Title: Re: Mail arrived, I am in a bad way.
Post by: bub1 on 24 Apr 2018 10:05PM
How are you feeling lately stevex