Ouch Too - a place for and about disabled people.

Forum => Talk => Topic started by: Sunny Clouds on 22 Dec 2017 02:12PM

Title: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 22 Dec 2017 02:12PM
Just to say that although I'm not posting much, I'm trying to keep up with reading, and I'm still thinking of you all.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 22 Dec 2017 06:56PM
Me too  >bighugs<

Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: SteveX on 22 Dec 2017 08:12PM
Me three >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 22 Dec 2017 09:36PM
I know you say 'no reply needed', but still.... >bighugs< >chocolate< >pudding<

Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 22 Dec 2017 10:46PM
Gratefully received and shared out. 

I'm rather up and down at the moment.  I hit rock bottom over the PIP decision and tried to pick myself up, but I'm oscillating back and forth between coping efficiently and crumbling, trying to remind myself that I'm poorly so it's ok to not cope all the time. 

Lovely, lovely Ouchers.  Did you but know how much you've all helped me to keep going.
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: suessad on 25 Dec 2017 06:39AM

   >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 01 Jan 2018 01:01PM
 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 01 Jan 2018 06:19PM
I've survived Christmas and am back to re-drafting my PIP reconsideration request, having got extra time for it.  Every time I get wordy, I delete the paragraph and start again.  Can you imagine someone as long-winded as me trying to be brief?

In between, I'm self-soothing by organising and clearing out.  I thought I'd weeded out all possible clutter but another look shows I hadn't.  It makes a lot of difference to how I cope, weeding things out. 

I wouldn't have got through last year without the help of Ouch, an Archers messageboard and a few friends and neighbours.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Fiz on 01 Jan 2018 06:50PM
Sunny, I hope you take plenty of credit too for getting through all those tough times. You've shown incredible strength. Plus you've taken time out throughout to help others here through their tough times, including me.

I wrote a positive Facebook post as new year was drawing near because I initially woke on new year's eve feeling 'well', that lifted mood lasted 4 hours and by lunchtime my mood was really low and I was crying and unable to function. Lots of my friends were liking my positive post and someone said how good it was I was feeling so positive and I was a crying heap when she posted that response. I deleted my post as it was redundant. So I too am oscillating between coping and not so I'm with you on that one. I find it extremely unsettling not knowing what I will manage and when but it's taking life hour by hour right now for me.

You're post today is amazing at how much you've achieved despite the stress of the PIP reconsideration to deal with. Sending big hugs  >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 02 Jan 2018 02:48PM
Ah but New Year's Eve and New Year's Day had some good aspects for me, not least the pile of laundry I did plus weeding more things out.  I felt pleased with myself either yesterday or the day before (forgotten which already), at being able to weed out more stationery. 

Sometimes I'm so scared of the future and so hurt by the past, and other times I think of what I've coped with in the past and what others that I meet here and sometimes elsewhere cope with, people that aren't superheroes, and think it's worth another try.

I'm determined to grow stronger, but one of my biggest  projects I'm working on is to reclaim an attitude of my youth that's about seeing my 'weaknesses' as strengths.  When did our society stop doing that?  There are places where it's being re-discovered a bit, I think, like firms that specifically recruit people on the autistic spectrum, including those with quite a pronounced autism. 

I am insecure.  I feel I need to justify myself.  I worry people won't believe me so I try to explain and try to find the logical reasoning in order to convince.  I'm also a patterns person.  I learn and lose languages at a rate of knots.  The best part of a dozen.  In the past, there were employers that loved that.  I can solve problems, including arguing the toss over hair-splitting technicalities with lawyers and judges seeking my advice, I'm a dab hand at filing, I can look at a set of accounts or a document and spot what doesn't fit.  But the mental health services 'gaslit'  me into believing I was defective.  This is the fight-back.

And I want to share that.  Just as a fellow manic depressive said to me last year that my gut feeling that my mood instability wasn't primarily because I'm bipolar was right because it is entirely normal to feel that way when bereaved, so I'm trying to pass on to others the message.

And Fiz, my lovely Fiz, a big hug and a piece of free medical advice to help you cope with those oscillating moods: "Cheer up, calm down, cheer up, calm down..."

 >run<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Norrin Radd on 03 Jan 2018 12:44PM
 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: huhn on 03 Jan 2018 07:52PM
oh sunny that's sound like  it is coming out of my head.
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Fiz on 04 Jan 2018 06:23AM
Sunny you said "Sometimes I'm so scared of the future and so hurt by my past" and that about sums me up very succinctly.

My total value I feel, and all I'm doing to help society is I'm involved in teaching 4th year medical students. A CPN collects me and takes me to a place where I'm interviewed by two 4th year students. They are me questions about my symptoms to ascertain which symptoms I have and which I don't and then after 30 minutes they have to diagnose me. The only thing I'm not allowed to say when being interviewed is my diagnosis. But it teaches them a lot and I hope it helps them see the person behind the diagnosis and remove any stigma they may have felt. My next training session is later this month. If I didn't do this I think I'd wonder what my purpose is in life.

 >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: huhn on 04 Jan 2018 03:05PM
very important job,  continue  please with this.
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 04 Jan 2018 08:15PM
Yes, important.
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunshine Meadows on 13 Jan 2018 05:53PM
 >bighugs< >bighugs< >bighugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 12 Feb 2018 09:23PM
 >hugs< >chocolate< >bighugs<  >chocolate< >cheerup<  >hugs<

Just cos I feel like it...
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 12 Feb 2018 10:55PM
I've had some really down days recently and then today I felt a bit better.  Today (Monday) I managed to get out of the way a lot of not terribly difficult paperwork that was piling up looking ominous.  Phone calls to sort out some practicalities regarding a refund from a fuel company.  Reconciling my bank statement.  Checking the insurance on a roof problem.  Filing away some guarantees and instruction leaflets.  Writing to people I didn't send a  Christmas card to because I got in a total mess with it this year and sent very few.

So those lovely hugs and choccy are just what was needed to congratulate myself with.

I forgot to mention - my real achievement today was to tell myself that I should treat having had a crash into depression like having flu and be kind to myself.  It's ridiculous to spend months arguing the toss with the DWP over how disabled I am, and then to expect of myself that I can perform as well as if I weren't.

So thank you enormously for dropping by this thread, Kizzy.
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: SteveX on 12 Feb 2018 11:08PM
>hugs<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 13 Feb 2018 08:35AM
Quote
...my real achievement today was to tell myself that I should treat having had a crash into depression like having flu and be kind to myself.  It's ridiculous to spend months arguing the toss with the DWP over how disabled I am, and then to expect of myself that I can perform as well as if I weren't.

 >thumbsup< now you're on the right track  >thumbsup<

Quote
So thank you enormously for dropping by this thread, Kizzy.

We-e-ll, with Valentine's Day approaching, I thought I'd share some love with everybody  ;-)
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Fiz on 13 Feb 2018 05:17PM
Wow well done sunny, I find being kind to myself the hardest thing.

Is the chocolate sugar free? Is there such a thing?
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 13 Feb 2018 06:00PM
It's virtual, so it can be whatever you want  >biggrin< and there's always our other trusted friend, the smiling apple  >apple<
Title: Re: Hugs - no reply needed
Post by: Sunny Clouds on 13 Feb 2018 06:16PM
You can buy bars of chocolate that are 100% cocoa with no added sugar.  They're not everyone's cup of tea.  They still have sugar in them, because cocoa beans have a sugar content, but far less than ordinary chocolate, so you can pretend there's no sugar at all.  But virtual bars are less fattening.