Ouch Too - a place for and about disabled people.

Forum => Talk => Topic started by: JLR2 on 04 May 2019 05:08AM

Title: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: JLR2 on 04 May 2019 05:08AM
Yesterday I had an appointment with a doc who it would appear thinks I may have BPD, border personality disorder. I've never really thought about BPD in relationship to myself but there were things from what the doc was saying to me about it that sort of rang bells so now I'm wondering if I have this condition and what it may mean for me in the future. Like I was saying, I'm nervous.

Sorry meant to add, the doc also feels I may be suffering PTSD.
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: JLR2 on 04 May 2019 07:15AM
I've just been reading, through Wikipedia, about BPD and PTSD and from what I've read I doubt I've BPD and feel if I have PTSD it is at the weakest end of the spectrum.

Things like the way I can sort of flip temper wise I could see as me just being daft. I'm thinking in terms of the way I'll react to a piece of coal that doesn't want to go into that big burny thing also known as the fire >biggrin<  the number of times I've cracked up because a bit of coal has fallen out >crying<  I swear I've seen more coal fa'oot that I've hairs left on my heid >lol<

In someways it would be all too easy for me to look to add to my list of problems but it could be as simple as me having a short temper or just being a grumpy clown. Sure I get anxious but these days many of us do and not for no reason given what the present/past government(s) have sought to do and are doing to the benefits system.

In looking at things following my appointment with the doc yesterday I feel, now, more conscious of things about my behaviour and will do more to control both my anger outbursts at really irrelevant niggles and think more about how what I say and do can affect others.
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: ally on 04 May 2019 09:26AM
I canít give any advise, but, hereís some hugs.  Take care  >bighugs<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: auntieCtheM on 04 May 2019 07:37PM
And there we were just thinking that you were only a grumpy 'ole man!  I hope that you have an interesting time investigating these new ideas about yourself.  >hugs<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: Monic1511 on 04 May 2019 08:56PM
 >bighugs< The doctor may just be applying descriptions to the behaviour patterns, PTSD can vary from person to person but I'm not an expert, try not to stress too much  >hugs<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 04 May 2019 09:43PM
JLR - I've had 'complex PTSD' (where there's more than one trauma) for years now and this can sometimes be mistaken for borderline personality disorder because of the symptom similarity. But both conditions can be helped, if not completely 'cured', so don't lose heart yet - and you are right in that there are different levels of PTSD and you could well be suffering a partial rather than a full-blown version. 

If you yearn to know more, I can recommend a very useful tome by the name of 'I Can't Get Over It - A Handbook for Trauma Survivors', by PTSD specialist Aphrodite Matsakis PhD.  I think I ordered my copy online and it's been a comforting companion for a good ten years now...

Edit to add - I think someone else ordered it for me online, I'm not one for shopping that way normally  >whistle<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: KizzyKazaer on 04 May 2019 09:47PM
..and why's this thread in News and Current Affairs, I ask myself?  Have moved it for you  >biggrin<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: huhn on 05 May 2019 05:31AM
I think sometimes that the tolerance to the behavior and thinking and reaction and  learning results is getting  narrower and narrower and everything what is not on the line is getting labeled disability or psychiatric illness. I have next week appointment with the psychiatrist for the evaluation to continue to see my girl, till now I  was dealing mentally very well with this situation but now I get more  and more upset and started to cry by the  smallest thing. I am scared that I get a label to be psychiatric sick and then I do not have more time with her or the doc is seeing that I am fine  but in a stressful situation.

Maybe you are not even a  grumpy old man, maybe you are just have to much problems and you have to deal with it on  your own  and this is not easy and everyone in this situation  can not stay permanently quiet and happy.
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: JLR2 on 05 May 2019 08:54AM
Morning all, I can understand what you are saying Kizzy as in reading about BPD and PTSD the similarities are fairly clear to notice. Since my meeting with the Doc and what you said earlier Kizzy in regards to what is 'Complex PTSD' I, having had a number of issues over my decades, would probably fit into the complex definition.

Though I had my own car crash in 1989 I think it was more my experience of the fatal car crash of the young girl from Brora, a village not too far from where I live. The circumstances of her crash and how I arrived at the scene has had a large part on my feelings when driving anywhere, even 5 minutes to the local co-op.

There were other events in my life the most serious of which does still affect my way of doing things. Put this way I can be as friendly as the next person in company but sometimes, just sometimes someone will be too kind too nice and I immediately start in my mind asking myself, 'why so nice, why so kind'?  and in the past this had seen me look to put distance between me and them.

Another aspect of my behaviour that could do with me doing more to control is my impatience which, when I think of it, is maybe a big driver of stress for me. Sometimes I'm just in too much of a hurry to see things done or sorted out.

As I'm typing this I know I want tomorrow here like 5 minutes ago as I'm looking to get hold of my GP, I have noticed I have a fairly solid lump on my left wrist. This lump is sitting just about 2cm forward of where the usual wrist bone that we all have shows itself so it's a bit like having two wrist bones sitting side by side.

Need to refill me coffee mug >biggrin<
Title: Re: I'm feeling nervous
Post by: Fiz on 07 May 2019 06:30AM
A Consultant Psychiatrist specialist said to me that BPD, now known as EUPD usually starts in the teenage years, occasionally in your twenties. He said for someone to suggest someone has developed EUPD or to diagnose it for someone in their late 40's is virtually unheard of. Nye on impossible. Which reassured me. To meet the criteria for EUPD you have 5 out of a set 9 symptoms. Every mental health diagnosis there is would meet 2 of them some would meet 3. I meet 2 definitely, at times a 3rd so I don't have EUPD. There are a set of talks on YouTube about CPTSD which made me realise I don't have that either, my GP had wondered if I had that. Here is the first https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6IxEwPMqB-c you could have a listen and see if anything resonates. Then it goes on to number 2 through to never land.

I have PTSD I'd say my symptoms are lessening 11 years on but it's a slow progress with no treatment. The NHS now has the funding to treat veterans who have PTSD though, via your GP.