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Talk / Re: Crashing
« Last post by Fiz on 14 Feb 2019 11:10AM »
Aww lankou the annual family get together is my adult children and grandchildren. This last Christmas I paid for a meal at a local pub (2 meals for 10 type) which made a big difference to the length of the crash afterwards.

Sunshine, your experience sounds harder than mine with a fall on the day it's made me feel grateful that a fall wasn't added into the mix on my day. I guess there's nothing to be done but ride through the crash. I think if there is a future big event that lasts for than a few hours in one day I'll prepare by having some nakd bars or similar in my room so they're right there if I can find the energy to eat them. I literally had to force myself to eat a microwaved ready meal yesterday because I still couldn't face food after all that time.

I managed to pick up meds and took my first antidepressant this morning after a week's break. That may hit me a bit in a week or two. I have lost my sleeping 18 hours and am now struggling to sleep at night again so I guess physically my body has recovered as much as it is able.

When I stay at my sister's without a graduation I find it brilliant because she understands that I can do little and she has a walk in shower so I can get fully clean which I can't here until the DFG gets the bath removed so my shower can be in a wet room instead so that's lovely and I rest on the bed when she dog walks. My daughter wants me to go and stay with her around Easter for 3 days and I don't think she has the understanding of my limitations because it's not just the physical activity, it's the energy drain and fatigue.

I've no idea why it's escalated massively over the last year though it may not be a coincidence that my spinal nerves are more damaged. I've no idea whether that's a connection.
Talk / Re: Crashing
« Last post by lankou on 14 Feb 2019 10:26AM »
More and more I'm finding that if I have an event to deal with like family visiting here for a day or I go somewhere for a day or two or do anything physically and mentally challenging, that I completely 'crash' for a period of days and sleep for 18 hours, can barely get myself to the loo and my body feels like led and I can barely get out of it. I wondered if others do the same and how on earth you cope.

That is why I live 320 miles away from my nearest relatives.
Talk / Re: Crashing
« Last post by Sunshine Meadows on 14 Feb 2019 10:09AM »
My physical limitations often lead to crashing especially on emotional days when I am expected to be able to manage unforeseen situations.

When I was a bridesmaid at my twin brother's wedding me and the other bridesmaids got left behind in the churchyard with a couple of groomsmen and I ended up having to lean on gravestones. When a car finally did arrive and I moved to walk I fell over onto my back with a thud. Then there was the wedding photos at the reception, the meal itself where I had been seated in a area that I could not exit once everyone was seated and eating. The only person I knew who was near me was my new sister in laws brother. I was very pleased for my brother and his knew wife and also for how people enjoyed the reception but much like you Fiz after I did the things I had to do I crashed. Huge pain in my eye and face worse than a migraine. Luckily my Mum's sister attended the wedding and had a room in the hotel so I had a bed to lay on as the pain screamed and my body switched my brain off. A similar thing happened at my oldest brother's wedding on the physical and emotional stress was all the day we arrive in Boston Lincs and the night before the wedding eg lack of food until my sister grabbed us some chips at about 11pm, lack of sleep and a aggressive atmosphere coming from my other sister's inability to cope. I ended up in my hotle room crying my eyes out because of the pain I was in and at missing my brothers wedding . it was like Sunshine failed again.

For me the crashing comes from the physical pain, emotional turmoil and feeling of being judged, and it is not as big as the crash you describe.  
I sometimes think I should paln more and make sure I know what is happening however that can scare me out of trying to do things. One of the reasons I invited friends I made since the move to the Midlands to the wedding is that they all know me as me and are not judgemental whereas my family can be or maybe I feel like they are going to be. I do regret not asking my twin brother's now ex wife her new partner my niece and nephew. Originally the wedding was going to be four people then it grew.

Fiz I hope you are feeling better today and have all the medication you need  >bighugs<
Talk / Re: NHS 111 ambulances and Accident & Emergency departments.
« Last post by JLR2 on 14 Feb 2019 07:42AM »
"permanent bed shortage in hospitals"

I have the suspicion that the now embedded lack of available beds for in patients has been brought about over recent years by the penchant some have for building big new shiny hospitals. In the Gordon Brown years many of these new hospitals were built using PFI with their heavy cost on future NHS budgets. I wonder what the total loss of beds is from these new builds as against the hospitals they replaced?

I have heard it argued that a big driver in the increased lack of available in-patient beds is caused by bed blocking by elderly patients who whilst fit enough to go home cannot be released unless there is on-going care at home available. Well a couple of things, first back in the 1980's I remember there being a row between politicians about the numbers available for 'Care in the community'  Tory governments appeared to see it or look on it as a way to save money. In effect they decided to land the caring of elderly people on their families be it husbands looking after wives or sons and daughters looking after parents. Now we are witnessing more and more sons and daughters virtually being forced to give up working to look after parents with dementia.

The second thing that I feel is when we hear of there being more and more elderly patients bed blocking it is something that in the past probably happened but because we had the numbers in available beds the problem was not so acute as it is now.

The building of new hospitals is to me not unlike what I've noticed with the building of new railway stations, indeed I could even look on the two new aircraft carriers the Royal Navy has had built for it, they've been built but as yet no aircraft to fly from them, the building of big new fancy railway stations might look great for 5/10 minutes at the head of the 6pm news but I'm sure the passengers waiting for their delayed train to leave or arrive couldn't careless about the state of the station, they simply want to get their train home or to work ideally with some semblance of a chance to actually have a seat on it.

Need to grab some coffee :-)
Talk / Re: Crashing
« Last post by KizzyKazaer on 13 Feb 2019 09:28PM »
I'm not surprised you suffered for having to stand for 2 hours, that would test most able-bodied people.  The whole event, though a lovely occasion, sounds like more than I would have been able to even contemplate - but then, I'm not a mum (well done to your daughter, by the way).

You're not alone in having to 'pay' in fatigue etc as the price for any social occasion.  After a day out, I am definitely 'jaded' the next day and have to recover by not doing a lot.  If I miss my daily afternoon sleep, I know all about it.. though what you describe for yourself is obviously far more severe and all I can say is, take the rest you need to get your body and mind back to functioning again.  And try not to miss meals or become dehydrated, this will just mean the whole process becomes even longer.

What I am concerned about right now is you missing your anti-depressant doses - please either get yourself to the chemist somehow or ask your friend to collect your medication.  It really isn't worth you taking the risk of feeling any worse than you are already.

>edited to add
Talk / Re: Crashing
« Last post by Sunshine Meadows on 13 Feb 2019 05:31PM »
>bighugs< I will add more in a while

Congratulations to you and your daughter on her getting her degree. It is so much harder to do these days and I know you mention in the past that she has a career in mind so onward and upward  >star<
Cafe / Re: Re-launching the ship happyness by bulekingfisher
« Last post by bulekingfisher on 13 Feb 2019 02:01PM »
 drinking Yorkshire tea illkeyHello SashaQ

Do you know of any music you could play while Kizzy Kazaer + I could listen to while we laz about eating chocolate hob nob's. Errrr (illkY baa tat) is the anthem for the county of  Yorkshire

Talk / Crashing
« Last post by Fiz on 13 Feb 2019 12:54PM »
More and more I'm finding that if I have an event to deal with like family visiting here for a day or I go somewhere for a day or two or do anything physically and mentally challenging, that I completely 'crash' for a period of days and sleep for 18 hours, can barely get myself to the loo and my body feels like led and I can barely get out of it. I wondered if others do the same and how on earth you cope.

Last Friday was my daughter's graduation ceremony which I wouldn't have missed for the world. It took place about 70 miles away and I can't manage driving more than that without pain getting to me so I drove to my sisters on the Thursday. She's really good and let's me rest and fetches things and picks them up all without me asking and considering we've had an extremely difficult or virtually non-existant relationship all our lives, this is amazing. If one thing good has happened about my spinal problems it's that she's so sympathetic and helpful so it's totally changed our relationship! Every cloud and all that.

Friday I had to set my alarm for very early but anxiety woke me before that, put make up on carefully and as I only wear any rarely that took a while but unusually I was happy with it. Dressed, jewellery and then left to drive to the venue. Because it was rush hour the 30 minute drive took 60 but I found a disabled bay at the side/rear of the venue easily. The rear entrance was for VIP guests but I explained my pain and was immediately walked through from their to the front foyer and after 45 minutes managed to locate dd among the masses because I discovered after no response to my texts for half an hour there is no mobile phone reception in the venue so that wasn't easy. So at 9am I was with her in the foyer, not a chair in sight. All guests were supposed to be seated by 9.30 and the ceremony start at 10am. The people travelling from my home town to the graduation were extremely late which I knew they would be, they arrived at 10.15. No one late is allowed in and dd was refusing to attend the ceremony if they weren't there to see it so things were extremely stressed. Fortunately a lot of graduates didn't even reach the building until 9.30 then had to queue for their gowns and ridiculous hats and the queue snaked around the foyer so the ceremony started at 11am and we were there.

So from 8.30 until 10.30 I was standing in the foyer. Agony doesn't describe it. After the ceremony we queued for professional photos and took our own. The severely disabled child dd cared for professionally having known him from birth was there so he needed peg feeds before and after the ceremony and we gathered around his wheelchair while that was done. Dd had reserved a table at a 5* exclusive restaurant 10 minutes (normal) walk away but they only hold a table for 10 minutes because you need to book a table months in advance to get a table so they can't overrun and we were late so dd and the young lot ran to the restaurant, the 2 rellies walked normally and I can't walk more than slowly at most but had no idea where the restaurant was so had to keep people in view so again the pain was terrible. Managed main course then asked dd if she minded if I left and she said that was fine so I left and cried my way slowly to the car and got drenched as Friday was a washout. Cried for the 30 minutes to my sisters and sat on her stairs inside her door while she fetched my morphine and I took maximum dose.

My sister bless her was in charge of my dogs needs and my dog got daily walks there and I can't walk her so she loves trips to my sisters. Plus she loves my sister's spaniel they literally play all day! After the hour I managed to stand up and go upstairs and into bed. The next day a lie in while my dog was walked then I drove home, fed the dog then let her out for a bit then went to bed. I slept 18 of 20 of the next 24 hours. One morning I forget which my dog cried to go out at 7am but by body was like led and I couldn't move. I felt comatose as if there but not there, partly asleep. At 10am I finally managed to get up and let the dog out, she'd cried the 3 hours it took me to manage it. Today, Wednesday is the first day I've managed to get up and deal with the dog and made myself a cup of tea. I've only had water since returning home by my bed and haven't eaten or made myself a drink at all.

Yesterday a friend called so I did get up and watch a DVD with her and went back to bed as soon as she left. It's probably good she came because I might still be sleeping 18 hours out of 24 hours like since I got home.

This complete energy crash, complete and utter fatigue to the point it's sometimes impossible to get out of bed happens after every event in my life now. This was particularly bad because Friday was exhausting plus I drove both Thursday and Saturday but even my family coming here for 8 hours once a year can do this to me. I don't know whether it's caused by the pain or what. I'm not in pain lying in bed unable to move. I ran out of antidepressants but haven't the energy to drive to the chemist to get them so I've now missed 4 doses.

I really don't know how to manage events or any social thing. It feels so hard to get through at the time and then comes the crash for however many days, it's embarrassing. Except nobody knows about it. I'm embarrassed.

My foster Mum thinks I need a scooter but I explained with motability it's either or a car and not both. A scooter may get me to the shops and back but would get me nowhere else. I couldn't load a motorised wheelchair in or out of a car and I live on my own.

My spine is getting worse. I'm falling more as the messages at times aren't reaching my legs having left my brain. I feel as if I am physically and mentally disintegrated.

Sorry for the total utter whinge but if there are any pointers on how to manage crashes or anything else here I'll ponder any ideas.

Oh, I was SO proud of my dd, she looked amazing and I am really glad I went.

Edited to create more paragraph breaks. I've spotted spelling errors but have no energy to correct!
Talk / Re: NHS 111 ambulances and Accident & Emergency departments.
« Last post by Fiz on 13 Feb 2019 11:49AM »
Casualty and Holby have both done one off programmes on a real problem but that in itself makes it worse in my view because it creates the view that chaos and inadequacies happen once every decade. I don't think it would add much to the cost of Casualty if they had a couple of coridoors with stacked trolleys with "extras" or actors in pain or unwell for the duration of the programme each week as part of the scene set up which is actual real life. I'm watching the Hospital programme each week and my heart bleeds every programme when I see cancer patient's operations cancelled due to lack of beds sometimes two or three times. People needing urgent surgery but because there are no beds free in ICU their operations just can't happen. The frustration on the surgeons faces. Every week I think how can politicians live with themselves watching this? But they're probably watching Holby instead and are thinking what a great NHS we have and how smoothly it runs!

Sunshine, I would really hope that your GP surgery would get a report from A&E at some stage even if it's the old fashioned slower route. Ours is all computerised so it's all really quick. It could be dangerous if they didn't. In my surgery the secretaries have no access at all to medical notes, the only thing they can see are blood test results which they're not supposed to give to the patient before they've been reviewed by a doctor but I have managed to squeeze out of them some results before just to reassure myself. I say this because maybe the secretaries can't see the hospital notes themselves though if that was the case I would have thought they'd have said that to Mr Sunshine. I'm actually pleased the secretaries can't read my notes, they're too personal in my view. I've never been on the stacked trolley queue less than an hour before being allocated a bay before, and it has been towards two hours on a couple of occasions. And this is the majors department, not the minors.

JLR yes one of our trolley queue coridoors has the double door access to resuss towards the entrance end of that coridoor so the ambulance crew have to run alongside them and through the resuss doors with red lighted patients. The only thing that has improved is now when arriving at A&E by ambulance the trolley is placed in a bay in a new extension to be triaged. There they take your obs and record them and take bloods and send them to be tested and they put a cannula in before placing you in the coridoor queue. I thought that might shorten the wait for a majors bay the first time I saw the new triage extension for majors but it doesn't shorten it at all. All it does do is by the time you are placed in a majors bay and finally get to see a doctor, they have seen your blood test results so they have a knowledge base to start from and they can administer IV pain relief and fluids straight away as the cannula has been done. The wait hasn't decreased on trolleys because once a patient in a bay has been deemed to need to be admitted they remain in the bay, blocking it, while a bed is found somewhere in the hospital. Things have definitely got a lot worse since I was nursing in the early 80's. I don't recognise the stress everyone is under there. My dd starts her new job later this month in a busy paediatric A&E. She had a placement there as a student nurse so she knows what's she's getting.

I was going to ask if Mr Sunshine had an arterial blood gas test while in A&E but that was bl**dy nosey so don't answer but the reason I asked was an arterial blood gas test is put into a machine in A&E and instantly gives the condition of the heart so they can rule out MI's (heart attacks) and other heart issues like valve problems instantly so heart problems can be ruled out quickly. An arterial blood gas test is taken from the wrist by a thick strong needle then penetrates deeply to access the artery and it really hurts! So he'd know if he had one and if he did and they then concentrated on lungs and not his heart he can be reassured his heart is working fine. Hope that makes sense.

There is no doubt that every single majors A&E department is not able to care for patients as is needed and a permanent bed shortage in hospitals is a big part of that. Really sad.

It probably depends on how often and for how long patients are stacked. It might be a question that does not get asked because there is no alternative to the stacking of patients.

One reason Mr Sunshine ended up pushing me through the short corridors to the big room was there was obstacles on either side. I have never been to the A & E at that hospital before and I don't know how long it has been like that.
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